You fell in Love with… Thank God it’s Over!

It’s true, before ending with our prince charming we all have kissed a few frogs and those who say they haven’t, well they are lying!

In this blogpost, I decided to share with you a few of the typical men you will one day fall in love with. You will not only regret them, but look back at and laugh at how gullible you were to fight for their love.

By all means, this is not an autobiography. Apart from a few hands-on experiences, it is mostly friends and acquaintance’s stories.

1- The Fuck Boy.

This is the number one asshole every girl will encounter and be manipulated by. Do not judge the girl. She is hopelessly looking for love and easily believing his promises of a future together. His aim is only to get into her pants.He will come up with several excuses when approached by the status of the relationship and take his distances once she starts being clingy. Surprise surprise, when he will eventually have a girlfriend and leave you in disbelief over that fact. But a fuck boy remains a fuck boy. Pray God that you came out of his grip not too harmed.

ps: He will contact you again after his break up. Don’t become one of those “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” quoters. Just move on (away) from him.

2- The Commitophobe (#wordbymoi).

This gentleman (because yeah he generates that vibe) will ask you for a date, take you out to dinner, drinks and integrate you within his circle of friends. You will play house after a few months of being together. It’s a no brainer, he is the One. You’ve already planned you engagement a year+ later but,Surprise! Surprise, he breaks up with you. He is not ready. He never promised you anything. It was all in your head. You think about it and your realize that he is saying the truth indeed. He never talked marriage.

ps: You weren’t his One and trust me no one is either for the few years to come. Thank God he booted you out before that one year turned to two or three, in vain.

3- The Bipolar.

I am not sure if the title fits for this one, let me know if you find a better word for the person I am going to describe next. Before you started being too serious, he was openminded, generous, welcoming and embracing of your friends. Once the relationship tumbled into serious mode (after a few months) he completely changed. He became jealous of your friends, those same ones he met and enjoyed a couple of drinks with. You kissed your girls night out goodbye instantly. Your wardrobe became too skimpy for his likes. He started patronizing you and mistook his role of bf to father figure. The relationship ended because you just couldn’t continue with this new version of X.

ps: In my opinion, get away as soon as those traits come out of your boyfriend. You do not need a 21st century version of Khomeini in your future.

4- The condescending One.

You will never understand how you came to be in a relationship with this one. On paper he is perfect; same background, same religion, class and status. Your parents mingle within the same circle and well know one another too. Eventually you succumbed after a couple of dates into becoming his gf. For the wrong reasons. The latter being too good on paper than anything else. He doesn’t acknowledge you as a person, as his second half, only as the future trophy wife. He feels at ease in disrespecting you and your aspirations are null. He permits himself into acting this way because coming from a Middle Eastern society, women are desperately looking for their future husband based on these above mentioned points which, praise the Lord, you two have, so be merry and shut up. He abuses you emotionally. After a few months and many given chances you both give up. It just isn’t meant to be, pen & paper aside.

ps: It is a shame but it goes without saying, don’t settle for the one that will make your family and community happy. Go for the one that make YOU happy.

5- The Cheater.

He lacks self confidence. He has an emotional instability that dates back to his family dynamics. Oedipus’s complex much? Add to that; He is the player that suddenly turned saint when he met you. He wants to marry you. Shows you his materialistic accomplishments and offers you security. He takes you out and shows you off to everyone. You feel like a Queen. No you are the Queen. Now you peasants can become jealous. But we left out one thing here; the joke’s on you. You are a victim of his manipulative behavior. You are just a number, the xx-enth victim of his mind games. His goal? Well nothing at all. Life is a game for him. Get out of the field.

ps: He is a baller. And like that he is going to bounce in and out of your life if you permit it. Move on already and thank your prayers he’s on to his next victim.

 

It’s sad to know that there are many other types of relationships in which women fell and fought hard to keep for the wrong reasons.

Yes we have loved such men, and yes we imagined our future with them. However, I believe that God played a big role in teaching us lessons from such union and set us back to life in order to know whom to wait for.

Have you found your other half yet?

Trust me, you will…

xo

Exes; those that cant be tamed.

disclaimer: Remember that ex you couldn’t live without? Well look at you, living and shit!!

Ex, is a word we are all too familiar with because, yeah, we all have a minimum of one in our drawer (if you don’t have an ex, then girl, have you been living under a rock?). Kitchen Drawer? Closet? Cabinet? Hell any restrained rectangular shaped space would do, as long as it doesn’t open by mistake (that cabinet holding all those old tupperware would do). So within these space you would toss an ex or two and try never to slide the door open, and if, God forbid, those damn sized tups’ burst the door open, shut it back firmly and tightly. You do not need an old junk when you have collected new gadgets in the cabinet next door. Why am I comparing exes to in-animated object? Well do I need to remind you what they talk behind our back to their home boys? Guess not, so tups they shall remain. And between us, sometimes they do deserve that adjective…

So I am writing about this topic because as a woman I relate to those who are weak when their ex tries to catch up with them out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon, season being winter at best (you know in winter everyone is relatively in a hibernating mode and seeks his selfish comfort). I am reaching out to those women who are in doubt of themselves when an ex pops back in the picture. I am reaching to the women who I am warning not to cave back in. I admit and its human nature, I caved in and so did you. And we most probably learnt our lesson I know I did. 110%.

A decade ago we would have given our bone marrow to our partner. A decade ago, we were ready to be tied down and faithful to his (sorry) ass. We were patient and caring to his mood swings and depressive state of mind. We were taking care of his every whim. We put our 200% into the relationship only to be given the boot because he was not ready to settle down. Picket fences and all that shebang. We grabbed our hearts in our own hands, a few teardrops here and there for a couple of weeks and we moved on. Apparently, men (boys, to be more precise) do not move on as easily as we thought they did. When he came back, we gave him the benefit of doubt and rekindled the relation. Only to have the same problems resurface and ended with another break up in our hands. Not the fairy tale wedding we were imagining, nope. Flash forward ten years, give or take, and you have EX trying to infiltrate your life again. Apparently you turned out to be the one who actually did M.O.V.E  O.N. and you’re happy and you know it (clap your hands!!!). Ok, sorry I’m being too merry about this, I just felt like tuning, its the season to be jolly, lalalala you know!! (ok apparently you don’t, i’ll stop).

When a person becomes an EX, that word not just labels him, it defines the boundaries and sets the tone for any further relationship. An EX is a person that was once close to your heart. A person you shared everything with baring in mind of a possible future together. However, the WE became EX and your roads diverged. For the better, trust me. When an ex pops back and tries to cave you back in, try not to remember the good things. Remember the bad things. Remember why things never worked out. Remember the tears. Remember the broken promises. Remember the lies. Remember the drama. Do not set yourself good enough for the promises. Do not be content with his just words. Do not fall for the petty act. Do not fall again because of your pure heart. Do not fall because you think that he is the only one out there for you. Do not fall for the comfort of the relationship. Do not fall back into his comfort zone. Do not fall back because you are scared of any future uncertainties. Do not fall back into his arms because of the society’s pressure. NO!! You deserve better. No. You deserve the best. And the best is not hidden in that EX. It is hidden in your future. And that kind of future awaits you. That kind of Love is out there. Do not settle for less. Trust me (again).

There is a french saying that goes like this “Chasse le Naturel, Il retourne au galop” (shoo away human nature, it comes back naturally)and that is what happens slowly yet surely.

Now let’s toast to those who put their clingy exes in the in-animated tupperware closet and drink a couple of bubbly to the every woman in us!

Chin (up) chin (up)!

xo

 

 

The Lebanese Pre-requisite for Love.

Note to reader: The love that I am going to be talking about in the following post is the one that you feel towards a certain other significant. I want to shed some light towards the Lebanese way of searching for love which I personally find wrong and sad.

Love is a universal feeling. The definition of love is complex though it should not be. By complex I mean, Lebanese women stress a lot on the fact of finding their perfect other half based on superficial aspects instead of the basic (intangible) ones.

At first, we all want to love and be loved. That emotional aspect is what we crave since childhood, some of us planning our fairy tales weddings while others day dreaming of that prince in shining armor sweeping us our feet (or in this case, our parents household). Along the years we tend to forget about the “feeling of love” and stress more and more on the tangible return on investment we want to receive from getting hitched (or staying in long term relationships). I do understand the fact that many women want security before leaving their parental cocoon. We all strive to search for the comfort we have been living all our lives. (Note the significant change in searching for love while we were kids and that of adulthood).

However, Lebanese women have gone up a notch with their requirements in finding the perfect match. Whenever I hear a conversation revolving around the lack of men in this country vs the percentage of single women in their 30s, I cringe. Every single woman “de passage” that I have met stress on the traits they are looking for in a man. Traits that have absolutely nothing to do with a man’s character. Traits that have everything to do with the social and financial status of the man himself. The perfect match should be a millionaire (the least), with the latest cars (yes one is not enough) an already acquired house (in those fancy newly developed skyscrapers) and most importantly at the head of his own business. Anything less is unimaginable. A No-No! 3eyb!!

Women who come from a certain background, brought up in wealth and status, already mingle with their male counterparts and marry off within their circle. It is understandable and quite logical.What is laughable and sad are the women who have a modest background, already in their mid-thirties, single and complaining. These women have set the level so high that they do not even know where to go to bump into such men.

Now comes the rude wake up call part;

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You have managed your whole life on a modest lifestyle, your parents have done their best, providing you with the important basic needs; a shelter, an education and food on the table. Not sure how many times you have reads books or watched tv shows stressing that happiness is not found in materialistic objects. I will say it again, it’s not. But since you are already 30+ and insisting of the contrary than I can only say you are as stubborn as f*&*k (and clearly have never owned any expensive items to understand the real value behind it). Further more, why should any other person work his ass off to pamper your little yogi plastic ass? Your looks? There are hundreds of clones just like you and younger (oups) down the line waiting to snatch the “prince” (note; common trait among those women is the amount of plastic done). Your brains? Well if you did have one you wouldn’t have drained it for this project but used it for better a purpose, a career, a job maybe… (note; I forget to mention that these women have one goal, to become housewives. Ambitious right? ). And last but not least when was the last time you saw a man with the above mentioned characteristics ever being respectful and faithful to his girlfriend/wife? With the amount of bling they live in, everything being at their reach, they are either stingy or/and narcissistic, placing their needs first, trust me, not yours (note; maybe you do deserve one another!).

Love is amazing. Love is beautiful. Loving and being loved by one man only is goal. Finding that one man who will place you above the rest and be faithful to you and respect you when in public as well as in private should be what you are looking for. There might be a wait, yes I won’t lie about that, but TRUST ME when I say that the wait is WORTH IT. He might not be rich, he might come from a modest background, but he has been brought up so well that he has the most important aspects engraved in him; respect, care and generosity. You can’t go wrong with that. He is out there.

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Either be humble and patient. Or get yourself  a macho asshole, but bare in mind, the divorce rate is in rise. But what is alarming is the amount of bitches roaming around these married men and the hook – up culture being embraced by latter.

Don’t say I did’d warn you!!!

ciao 😉