You fell in Love with… Thank God it’s Over!

It’s true, before ending with our prince charming we all have kissed a few frogs and those who say they haven’t, well they are lying!

In this blogpost, I decided to share with you a few of the typical men you will one day fall in love with. You will not only regret them, but look back at and laugh at how gullible you were to fight for their love.

By all means, this is not an autobiography. Apart from a few hands-on experiences, it is mostly friends and acquaintance’s stories.

1- The Fuck Boy.

This is the number one asshole every girl will encounter and be manipulated by. Do not judge the girl. She is hopelessly looking for love and easily believing his promises of a future together. His aim is only to get into her pants.He will come up with several excuses when approached by the status of the relationship and take his distances once she starts being clingy. Surprise surprise, when he will eventually have a girlfriend and leave you in disbelief over that fact. But a fuck boy remains a fuck boy. Pray God that you came out of his grip not too harmed.

ps: He will contact you again after his break up. Don’t become one of those “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” quoters. Just move on (away) from him.

2- The Commitophobe (#wordbymoi).

This gentleman (because yeah he generates that vibe) will ask you for a date, take you out to dinner, drinks and integrate you within his circle of friends. You will play house after a few months of being together. It’s a no brainer, he is the One. You’ve already planned you engagement a year+ later but,Surprise! Surprise, he breaks up with you. He is not ready. He never promised you anything. It was all in your head. You think about it and your realize that he is saying the truth indeed. He never talked marriage.

ps: You weren’t his One and trust me no one is either for the few years to come. Thank God he booted you out before that one year turned to two or three, in vain.

3- The Bipolar.

I am not sure if the title fits for this one, let me know if you find a better word for the person I am going to describe next. Before you started being too serious, he was openminded, generous, welcoming and embracing of your friends. Once the relationship tumbled into serious mode (after a few months) he completely changed. He became jealous of your friends, those same ones he met and enjoyed a couple of drinks with. You kissed your girls night out goodbye instantly. Your wardrobe became too skimpy for his likes. He started patronizing you and mistook his role of bf to father figure. The relationship ended because you just couldn’t continue with this new version of X.

ps: In my opinion, get away as soon as those traits come out of your boyfriend. You do not need a 21st century version of Khomeini in your future.

4- The condescending One.

You will never understand how you came to be in a relationship with this one. On paper he is perfect; same background, same religion, class and status. Your parents mingle within the same circle and well know one another too. Eventually you succumbed after a couple of dates into becoming his gf. For the wrong reasons. The latter being too good on paper than anything else. He doesn’t acknowledge you as a person, as his second half, only as the future trophy wife. He feels at ease in disrespecting you and your aspirations are null. He permits himself into acting this way because coming from a Middle Eastern society, women are desperately looking for their future husband based on these above mentioned points which, praise the Lord, you two have, so be merry and shut up. He abuses you emotionally. After a few months and many given chances you both give up. It just isn’t meant to be, pen & paper aside.

ps: It is a shame but it goes without saying, don’t settle for the one that will make your family and community happy. Go for the one that make YOU happy.

5- The Cheater.

He lacks self confidence. He has an emotional instability that dates back to his family dynamics. Oedipus’s complex much? Add to that; He is the player that suddenly turned saint when he met you. He wants to marry you. Shows you his materialistic accomplishments and offers you security. He takes you out and shows you off to everyone. You feel like a Queen. No you are the Queen. Now you peasants can become jealous. But we left out one thing here; the joke’s on you. You are a victim of his manipulative behavior. You are just a number, the xx-enth victim of his mind games. His goal? Well nothing at all. Life is a game for him. Get out of the field.

ps: He is a baller. And like that he is going to bounce in and out of your life if you permit it. Move on already and thank your prayers he’s on to his next victim.

 

It’s sad to know that there are many other types of relationships in which women fell and fought hard to keep for the wrong reasons.

Yes we have loved such men, and yes we imagined our future with them. However, I believe that God played a big role in teaching us lessons from such union and set us back to life in order to know whom to wait for.

Have you found your other half yet?

Trust me, you will…

xo

Exes; those that cant be tamed.

disclaimer: Remember that ex you couldn’t live without? Well look at you, living and shit!!

Ex, is a word we are all too familiar with because, yeah, we all have a minimum of one in our drawer (if you don’t have an ex, then girl, have you been living under a rock?). Kitchen Drawer? Closet? Cabinet? Hell any restrained rectangular shaped space would do, as long as it doesn’t open by mistake (that cabinet holding all those old tupperware would do). So within these space you would toss an ex or two and try never to slide the door open, and if, God forbid, those damn sized tups’ burst the door open, shut it back firmly and tightly. You do not need an old junk when you have collected new gadgets in the cabinet next door. Why am I comparing exes to in-animated object? Well do I need to remind you what they talk behind our back to their home boys? Guess not, so tups they shall remain. And between us, sometimes they do deserve that adjective…

So I am writing about this topic because as a woman I relate to those who are weak when their ex tries to catch up with them out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon, season being winter at best (you know in winter everyone is relatively in a hibernating mode and seeks his selfish comfort). I am reaching out to those women who are in doubt of themselves when an ex pops back in the picture. I am reaching to the women who I am warning not to cave back in. I admit and its human nature, I caved in and so did you. And we most probably learnt our lesson I know I did. 110%.

A decade ago we would have given our bone marrow to our partner. A decade ago, we were ready to be tied down and faithful to his (sorry) ass. We were patient and caring to his mood swings and depressive state of mind. We were taking care of his every whim. We put our 200% into the relationship only to be given the boot because he was not ready to settle down. Picket fences and all that shebang. We grabbed our hearts in our own hands, a few teardrops here and there for a couple of weeks and we moved on. Apparently, men (boys, to be more precise) do not move on as easily as we thought they did. When he came back, we gave him the benefit of doubt and rekindled the relation. Only to have the same problems resurface and ended with another break up in our hands. Not the fairy tale wedding we were imagining, nope. Flash forward ten years, give or take, and you have EX trying to infiltrate your life again. Apparently you turned out to be the one who actually did M.O.V.E  O.N. and you’re happy and you know it (clap your hands!!!). Ok, sorry I’m being too merry about this, I just felt like tuning, its the season to be jolly, lalalala you know!! (ok apparently you don’t, i’ll stop).

When a person becomes an EX, that word not just labels him, it defines the boundaries and sets the tone for any further relationship. An EX is a person that was once close to your heart. A person you shared everything with baring in mind of a possible future together. However, the WE became EX and your roads diverged. For the better, trust me. When an ex pops back and tries to cave you back in, try not to remember the good things. Remember the bad things. Remember why things never worked out. Remember the tears. Remember the broken promises. Remember the lies. Remember the drama. Do not set yourself good enough for the promises. Do not be content with his just words. Do not fall for the petty act. Do not fall again because of your pure heart. Do not fall because you think that he is the only one out there for you. Do not fall for the comfort of the relationship. Do not fall back into his comfort zone. Do not fall back because you are scared of any future uncertainties. Do not fall back into his arms because of the society’s pressure. NO!! You deserve better. No. You deserve the best. And the best is not hidden in that EX. It is hidden in your future. And that kind of future awaits you. That kind of Love is out there. Do not settle for less. Trust me (again).

There is a french saying that goes like this “Chasse le Naturel, Il retourne au galop” (shoo away human nature, it comes back naturally)and that is what happens slowly yet surely.

Now let’s toast to those who put their clingy exes in the in-animated tupperware closet and drink a couple of bubbly to the every woman in us!

Chin (up) chin (up)!

xo

 

 

Men- Commitment- Relationships.

Disclaimer: I am writing to you this post baring in mind that I am not generalizing the male gender, yet we can all agree that more than half of them behave one way or another. 

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First of all, I want to clarify that I can not be more than happy when an old flame, an ex-boyfriend or a crush finds his soul mate and commits to a serious relationship with her. Truly, I am happy for him. I believe that if we were meant to be, we would’ve worked out at some point over time, but we did not and someone is out there to become my life long partner.

In our lifetime, we have come to accept that the normal path to take is to be in a monogamous relationship, that eventually will lead to marriage and the beginning of a family with one or more offspring. Totally normal, right? right!

I believe that any relationship should be, foremost, based on mutual trust and honest communication between both parties. Of course, what first attracted these two people is physicality. We are humans and what is appealing interests us. One conversation, or one date, can set the beginning or the halt of a future relationship. That feeling of Love develops. A beautiful thing to experience I am said. My tone may reflect that I have not experienced love and I thought I had but it is lately that I have come to term that I did not fully live that emotion maturely. Most married couple will assure me that love fades away after the years. I can not agree nor disagree with that statement since I have not been married yet but I will have to shed a light on the roots of such statement.

I have witnessed that many of the married couple (and those is a serious relationship for more that two years) grow apart after sometime. They take their situation for granted and let themselves go. They do not put the same amount of effort they used to when at the start of their relationship and blame one another for any differences. Compromise is no longer part of their vocabulary. How did that simple important fact disappear in thin air? What ensues is the lingering eyes of men towards the rest of the single female population.

Social media interaction has and still plays an important part in pursuing a love interest outside the confines of a steady relationship. A simple hello from a past love triggers question marks. I am sure you agree with me when I say that a re-connection from ‘in a relationship’ men is not as innocent as they try to portray. In my opinion, it is best to cut short this sudden caring concern catch- up session as early as detected. Personally, I feel sorry for that person’s girlfriend and thank God I am not in her shoes. Married men behaving this way ( whether he is my friend or not) just disgust me. An ex- boyfriend you ask me? Well I am grateful not to have been legally bound to him.

Men, if you are not happy in your current situation, which you are not since you are taking the time and effort to establish a connection with the rest of us, one solution comes to my mind; switch to single hood. That way, you are not being the hypocrite you are towards your other half and mostly to yourself. As for those who are bound by marriage, I would direct your attention to the many ‘hoes’ out there that are gladly happy to welcome you in their lives (and beds) with no question asked.

Most of the single women I know have not completely given up on love and marriage. And all of them respect themselves so as not to be entangled in a triangular love nest. Now there are surely those who take upon themselves a challenge to snatch you away from your woman but I won’t get into that debacle. If you find yourself suddenly in love and cannot go on without that person in your life than better break off your current situation for the new one. Girls whoever, do not forget one important fact; Once a cheater, always a cheater!

Ideally speaking it is a known fact that most of the successful relationships’ root is an established friendship. I am not saying that everyone should marry off his/ her best friend but one should ponder on the fact that ‘we were friends who developed mutual feelings outside our capacity’.

How many of you can assuringly tell me that you would blindly commit to your other half and make things work?

Many of us, single women, do not linger on our past relationships because we know that we were not fully happy and ready to commit to that person for the rest of our lives. Yes I said it once more. Those failed relationships made us the person we are today and paved the way to know what we want in life and from our future partner and most importantly how to handle a given situation.

I know that ‘I would bleed my self dry’ (Coldplay- Yellow) for my man and he would do the same to me.

XO

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