You fell in Love with… Thank God it’s Over!

It’s true, before ending with our prince charming we all have kissed a few frogs and those who say they haven’t, well they are lying!

In this blogpost, I decided to share with you a few of the typical men you will one day fall in love with. You will not only regret them, but look back at and laugh at how gullible you were to fight for their love.

By all means, this is not an autobiography. Apart from a few hands-on experiences, it is mostly friends and acquaintance’s stories.

1- The Fuck Boy.

This is the number one asshole every girl will encounter and be manipulated by. Do not judge the girl. She is hopelessly looking for love and easily believing his promises of a future together. His aim is only to get into her pants.He will come up with several excuses when approached by the status of the relationship and take his distances once she starts being clingy. Surprise surprise, when he will eventually have a girlfriend and leave you in disbelief over that fact. But a fuck boy remains a fuck boy. Pray God that you came out of his grip not too harmed.

ps: He will contact you again after his break up. Don’t become one of those “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” quoters. Just move on (away) from him.

2- The Commitophobe (#wordbymoi).

This gentleman (because yeah he generates that vibe) will ask you for a date, take you out to dinner, drinks and integrate you within his circle of friends. You will play house after a few months of being together. It’s a no brainer, he is the One. You’ve already planned you engagement a year+ later but,Surprise! Surprise, he breaks up with you. He is not ready. He never promised you anything. It was all in your head. You think about it and your realize that he is saying the truth indeed. He never talked marriage.

ps: You weren’t his One and trust me no one is either for the few years to come. Thank God he booted you out before that one year turned to two or three, in vain.

3- The Bipolar.

I am not sure if the title fits for this one, let me know if you find a better word for the person I am going to describe next. Before you started being too serious, he was openminded, generous, welcoming and embracing of your friends. Once the relationship tumbled into serious mode (after a few months) he completely changed. He became jealous of your friends, those same ones he met and enjoyed a couple of drinks with. You kissed your girls night out goodbye instantly. Your wardrobe became too skimpy for his likes. He started patronizing you and mistook his role of bf to father figure. The relationship ended because you just couldn’t continue with this new version of X.

ps: In my opinion, get away as soon as those traits come out of your boyfriend. You do not need a 21st century version of Khomeini in your future.

4- The condescending One.

You will never understand how you came to be in a relationship with this one. On paper he is perfect; same background, same religion, class and status. Your parents mingle within the same circle and well know one another too. Eventually you succumbed after a couple of dates into becoming his gf. For the wrong reasons. The latter being too good on paper than anything else. He doesn’t acknowledge you as a person, as his second half, only as the future trophy wife. He feels at ease in disrespecting you and your aspirations are null. He permits himself into acting this way because coming from a Middle Eastern society, women are desperately looking for their future husband based on these above mentioned points which, praise the Lord, you two have, so be merry and shut up. He abuses you emotionally. After a few months and many given chances you both give up. It just isn’t meant to be, pen & paper aside.

ps: It is a shame but it goes without saying, don’t settle for the one that will make your family and community happy. Go for the one that make YOU happy.

5- The Cheater.

He lacks self confidence. He has an emotional instability that dates back to his family dynamics. Oedipus’s complex much? Add to that; He is the player that suddenly turned saint when he met you. He wants to marry you. Shows you his materialistic accomplishments and offers you security. He takes you out and shows you off to everyone. You feel like a Queen. No you are the Queen. Now you peasants can become jealous. But we left out one thing here; the joke’s on you. You are a victim of his manipulative behavior. You are just a number, the xx-enth victim of his mind games. His goal? Well nothing at all. Life is a game for him. Get out of the field.

ps: He is a baller. And like that he is going to bounce in and out of your life if you permit it. Move on already and thank your prayers he’s on to his next victim.

 

It’s sad to know that there are many other types of relationships in which women fell and fought hard to keep for the wrong reasons.

Yes we have loved such men, and yes we imagined our future with them. However, I believe that God played a big role in teaching us lessons from such union and set us back to life in order to know whom to wait for.

Have you found your other half yet?

Trust me, you will…

xo

“I’m engaged, I can’t talk to you”

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I am never going to understand Arab mentality and the dos and donts of the society I come from. Over the many years I have spent in Beirut, Lebanon and the many men I dated and had long term relationships with, I have never quite understood the few silent agreements between couples, especially those engaged to be married within the year.

Apparently there is a hidden rule that states that once you are engaged, you, automatically, will have to stop interacting with humans from the opposite sex. Yes! Shocker!!

Yesterday I was catching up with a very close friend of mine. From the moment we took seats, I felt she wasn’t herself. Born in Canada, but raised in Lebanon, Saria inherited the Western values vs the Middle Eastern ones.

Here is her story.

Her very close friend who immigrated to the USA a few years back was in Beirut for the holidays. Both friends have kept in touch(whatsapp/fb messenger/instagram all that jazz) throughout the 9 years of his leaving and it was his first time back to visit friends and family. One itch however, he got engaged to his long time on-off girlfriend in the states and was here to officialize the union.

Don’t get me wrong, we are, oh-so-happy for the chap.

What we are appalled by is the fact that, although a few days before his arrival and anticipated reunion with his close friend (Saria) through a whatsapp message, Mister X shifts 180 degrees on Lebanese soil. We give him a few days, even a week (we are generous) to catch up with his family, close, far, in between. On the second week, we decide to get in touch and set a date for the meet up. Busy one day, sudden appointment the next day, and many “I will let you know, we will play it by the ear” (Lebanese style) came the day of his departure!

No wait, let me be specific, I rephrase that, ….came the morning of his departure.

Saria is no naive girl. Trust me. She knew something was wrong the moment she heard his voice on the phone. She knew that the person by the end of the receiver is no longer her friend. She knew all of that but for the sake of the 10+ years of friendship, gave X the benefit of doubt. All came tumbling down when he decided to give her 20min of his precious on his way to the airport (btw her house is a dot on that highway leading there, so two birds in one stone, you know the shizzle…). It all took for her such suggestion of a pop-up meeting to explode on the phone. He did what any lame boy would do and twisted everything to look innocently guilty. You know that “you are right, I was a jerk” blabla.. and they resumed their phone call on that.

As you know a story is not quite one without the cherry on the top moment. And her cherry came in the form of a block on Facebook and Instagram jointly in the same hour that it took him to get to the airport, on his plane and off to Washington DC. Pathetic. Loser.

Am I Right or Right??

Well when it comes to anything Lebanese related (friendship, relationship and social) I am not the least surprised at most of the experiences endured by my friends. From what I witnessed, my friend was more shocked than angry. This was a guy who left his family, friends and country for a better life abroad. In his lonely times, he connected through social media with his friends back home (among them Saria). I know Saria and I know the kind of person she is when she puts all her energy into her friends & family. And I know for a fact that this guy went through a depression, away from everyone (it’s normal) and that Saria was there, amidst the hour gap, conversing, cheering. Well being the definition of a very good friend.

Moreover, I very well know how of a coward Lebanese men are when they get engaged. I mean you got engaged, that does not mean that you have turned gay (my respect to the gay community) or are a cheater if you are hanging out with friends from the opposite sex. I mean if you have had feelings for that specific friend then ok you move away when in a serious relationship. Fine I’ll give you that, ok (although..well…). But just cutting and throwing away friendships like that, no no!!

How do you define these men?

Cowards?

Immature?

Full of low self esteem?

Not Trustworthy?

Have relationship issues?

Have life issues?

Well I would tick all the above and more.

If you have a friend who has cut you off because of the change of his relationship status, then know this, its not you, its definitely him/her and the above mentioned traits (and more).

You are better off with that sort of drama because if one thing is for sure, these people are going to be facing many issues when interacting with society as a whole.

Last but not least, congrats on your union!!

xo

 

 

Why I am done with Lebanon for good.

Disclaimer: This post is my ever frank opinion of what I have left behind in Lebanon. An honest direct post I did not intend to write in a politically correct tone, for once. 

It is no secret that I am not fond of Lebanon. No wait let me start again. It is no secret that I hate Lebanon and everything that is related to its population and way of life. Ever since we moved back to Beirut in 1993 (from Montreal) my relationship with this Middle eastern country went from hectic to down right estrangement. Earlier this year, I decided that it was high time to leave everything and everyone behind and move back to my adoptive country. A very tough decision, tough not because I am going to leave everyone behind (those who know me know that I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone) tough because it is a huge irrevocable step once you set foot abroad, as I have a few days ago.

For the 23 years I lived in Beirut, rare are the memories that I cherish and hang on to. Why did it take me 23 years to take my decision to go back to Canada? personal matters. Now that I am settling back, I want to share with you few of the points that I am sure many of you relate to and that led me move back and enjoy North America very much these last couple of days. The points that I am about to share are more related to a human level than any of the usual rants people direct towards politics.

1- It’s mind blowing how every single Lebanese thinks he/she is God sent on earth. I have never seen a snobbish society as a whole. Its as if every single person became amnesic all of a sudden and woke up with a silver spoon in his/her mouth (in his/her mid twenties+). We tend to notice clones of women at any given event, at the mall (yeah plastic surgeons have all graduated from the same medical establishment abroad) yet at a closer look, we realize that their personalities is much worse defective than their face. Have you ever seen a Lebanese smiling at one another? Even in front of their cameras their (siliconed) lips are pouting and their faces ever so bored and high mighty. To be honest, I so many times wanted to bitch slap (verbally) snobbish friends back to their village, reminding them of their farming ancestors every time they tended to act superior when in public. I mean, fuck you bitch, if it weren’t for your dad slaving away in Saudi Arabia, and sending you a monthly salary (age 30+) you wouldn’t have dreamt eating at newly opened fine dining restaurants and mocking/yelling out orders to the staff and rolling your eyes at a passerby. And let’s not start with the employee with a 1000$ salary (tops) behaving as if she made 3000$+ parading & glowing with her signature outfit & attitude.

2- Let’s shift to the employment sector. It is simple, if you don’t have a “wasta” (its funny how that word auto-corrects itself to ‘waste’ whenever I type it) you are a nobody and you will never achieve your potential in Lebanon. And if you are under valued, all you need to do is master the open split and you will get to places. Higher places. Yes why are you looking at me like this? I have always said that among the people that easily succeed in Lebanon is the whore. The Lebanese whore is the all of a sudden successful female thrown in society and very much respected by her peers (for her position..). Men wanna fuck her (which she will hand fully pick depending on her future ambition) and women wanna befriend her (for the new alliances and doors she will be opening to them). The worse part of all this scenario is that the ambition and status of this woman is shallow and irrelevant to the big picture which is life. Many of these people find solace in social media with thousands of fake followers to give them the much needed boost to their fragile self confidence and ugly stature and personality. You wanna know what is pitiful for employees with wasta? Some mothers go to the extreme of whoring themselves or make big donations so as to ensure their children’s future at X and Y organizations. (true story).

3-Friends? What friends? this terminology is over-rated. Alliances yes. Friendship no. Over the years, I realized that I was surrounded by shallow hypocrites who secretly awaited my downfall in work as well as my relationship status. Hence the drastic cut of my ‘friends’ list. From one day to the other, best friends became strangers. I look around me and rare are the relationships that I define as friendship among the people that I know. Everyone is in constant competition with one another. Gatherings are occurred so as to fill social media pages with (fake) fun and a bubbly way of life. Of course, everyone is a hedonist whether they can afford the lifestyle or not (thank you Lebanese banks for the loans). Conversations are superficial and revolve solely around the fashion designers to be, the events that were launched, the dresses that were worn and the ‘celebrities’ that are popping like chicken pox. If you do not relate to this ever growing shallow society, then you tend to find yourself the odd one out and castrated. I do not tend to make an effort to anything that does not interest me nor would be an added value to my life. And by being that person, I, thankfully, realized who is the real friend that stood by me and I continued to genuinely enjoy his/her presence in my everyday life. Those that lingered away so as to establish themselves within this fake surrounding (knowingly aware of my adamant stand against) granted me the gift of discovering the meaning of true friendship. Here I take a moment to thank Meena, Angie and Rony for being the best friends one can ever wish for. The rest of you can go fuck yourselves.

4- The clash between life abroad and in Lebanon, I discovered when I went to pursue my studies in London. There I met genuine, caring and interesting people. People from around the world, from different culture and upbringing that further assured me of one important thing; my non-belongingness to the Middle East. Men respect their women when out and about. They are cultured and interested by you and not only your boobs and loubs. They are fine gentlemen. The women have intellectual discussions and gatherings revolve in open spaces, museums, walking, canoeing and taking pictures in which one can witness the big smile on their faces. Dates are respected and not cancelled at the last moment, or worse dismissed without any advance notice. To those who continue giving a self important image of themselves by not notifying a cancellation in appointment, I do not wanna say anything to them; their pitiful stand is more than enough.

Unfortunately, Lebanon proved to me a haven for the hypocrite, the fake, the whore, the loser and the self proclaimed celebrity.

In Lebanon, I did not find myself. I only found jealousy mastered at a professional level. I only found myself being judged and labelled. I found myself in professional situations where my family name played a role leading me in handing  my resignation letter. The honest hard working person is not appreciated. The liar and the whore is King/Queen.

I am thankful that as a Canadian citizen I am going to be able to fulfill my dreams with my own potential and certificates at hand. I am thankful that Canada is far away from the Middle East. And I am thankful that I have my family and best friends next to me forever no matter the distance.

xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lebanese Married Men; you disgust me.

What is wrong with Lebanese married men? Seriously if you cannot handle monogamy just don’t tie the knot, plain and simple.

Most of my friends & acquaintances are married for years now and I am happy for them. They respect their wives and have adorable cute little baby girls and boys. Facebook profile pictures are family picture perfect shots and captions under each post of family outings and date nights with their other half, lovey dovey (if you know what I mean). So let me elaborate what I am not getting and respect to the above mentioned guy friends (do not feel directed coz you are not).

When Facebook started we all added people left and right, right? especially those ‘friends’ we shared one class at university and never set a word to afterwards. This person (my bad) stayed on your friends list because you thought he was harmless and since was on a dormant status online you forgot he was even there in the first place.. until he tied the knot and it was a nonstop online fiesta of pictures and statuses.

Well I share your happiness for the simple fact that I know you thought you were never gonna get married, especially not to a gorgeous woman. Yeah you got her, made your nerdy friends jealous, established the perfect little family and now after ten years you are bored. Well let me tell you something; BOUHOU! You are bored? get a puppy! Do not think that inbox-ing your female friends on Facebook asking for coffee and catching up whenever you are back in town solo is gonna make us drop everything and run to you. Let me be straight; its not because you have gotten yourself a wife, that your failed macho behavior (from the back old days) is gonna work its magic now! She fell for it but I’ll tell you I never did nor will now that you are carrying a ring on your left finger. Respect that piece of jewel you have gotten yourself and choo.

Why do men stoop to this level? I think I got myself an idea why.

First of all, these are the boys from the past who never caught any girls attention. why? because am sure they used to pick and be all mean (like little boys are at school) when they got interested in a girl.

Second of all, they grew into men with a lack of everything likable to attract any decent woman in their teenage/university lives. They relied on materialistic objects to impose a self importance air on their entourage, for example Mo and his Ferrari. Mo will be associated with his car and trust me when I say he will always be womanless due to his attitude (am not counting gold diggers).

And Last, they will marry off the good girl from the well established family (same village, religion… you know the riddle by now).

Its the lack of dating & mingling with the opposite sex that has led most of the Lebanese married men to knock (poke here) on their female friends Facebook profile for a get together.  You think I am exaggerating? I think I am matured and experienced enough to know who is knocking on my door for a genuine friendly get together and who has a hidden agenda.

Lebanese Married Men two words for you; sod off!

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The Lebanese Pre-requisite for Love.

Note to reader: The love that I am going to be talking about in the following post is the one that you feel towards a certain other significant. I want to shed some light towards the Lebanese way of searching for love which I personally find wrong and sad.

Love is a universal feeling. The definition of love is complex though it should not be. By complex I mean, Lebanese women stress a lot on the fact of finding their perfect other half based on superficial aspects instead of the basic (intangible) ones.

At first, we all want to love and be loved. That emotional aspect is what we crave since childhood, some of us planning our fairy tales weddings while others day dreaming of that prince in shining armor sweeping us our feet (or in this case, our parents household). Along the years we tend to forget about the “feeling of love” and stress more and more on the tangible return on investment we want to receive from getting hitched (or staying in long term relationships). I do understand the fact that many women want security before leaving their parental cocoon. We all strive to search for the comfort we have been living all our lives. (Note the significant change in searching for love while we were kids and that of adulthood).

However, Lebanese women have gone up a notch with their requirements in finding the perfect match. Whenever I hear a conversation revolving around the lack of men in this country vs the percentage of single women in their 30s, I cringe. Every single woman “de passage” that I have met stress on the traits they are looking for in a man. Traits that have absolutely nothing to do with a man’s character. Traits that have everything to do with the social and financial status of the man himself. The perfect match should be a millionaire (the least), with the latest cars (yes one is not enough) an already acquired house (in those fancy newly developed skyscrapers) and most importantly at the head of his own business. Anything less is unimaginable. A No-No! 3eyb!!

Women who come from a certain background, brought up in wealth and status, already mingle with their male counterparts and marry off within their circle. It is understandable and quite logical.What is laughable and sad are the women who have a modest background, already in their mid-thirties, single and complaining. These women have set the level so high that they do not even know where to go to bump into such men.

Now comes the rude wake up call part;

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You have managed your whole life on a modest lifestyle, your parents have done their best, providing you with the important basic needs; a shelter, an education and food on the table. Not sure how many times you have reads books or watched tv shows stressing that happiness is not found in materialistic objects. I will say it again, it’s not. But since you are already 30+ and insisting of the contrary than I can only say you are as stubborn as f*&*k (and clearly have never owned any expensive items to understand the real value behind it). Further more, why should any other person work his ass off to pamper your little yogi plastic ass? Your looks? There are hundreds of clones just like you and younger (oups) down the line waiting to snatch the “prince” (note; common trait among those women is the amount of plastic done). Your brains? Well if you did have one you wouldn’t have drained it for this project but used it for better a purpose, a career, a job maybe… (note; I forget to mention that these women have one goal, to become housewives. Ambitious right? ). And last but not least when was the last time you saw a man with the above mentioned characteristics ever being respectful and faithful to his girlfriend/wife? With the amount of bling they live in, everything being at their reach, they are either stingy or/and narcissistic, placing their needs first, trust me, not yours (note; maybe you do deserve one another!).

Love is amazing. Love is beautiful. Loving and being loved by one man only is goal. Finding that one man who will place you above the rest and be faithful to you and respect you when in public as well as in private should be what you are looking for. There might be a wait, yes I won’t lie about that, but TRUST ME when I say that the wait is WORTH IT. He might not be rich, he might come from a modest background, but he has been brought up so well that he has the most important aspects engraved in him; respect, care and generosity. You can’t go wrong with that. He is out there.

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Either be humble and patient. Or get yourself  a macho asshole, but bare in mind, the divorce rate is in rise. But what is alarming is the amount of bitches roaming around these married men and the hook – up culture being embraced by latter.

Don’t say I did’d warn you!!!

ciao 😉

 

 

 

12 reasons why I still haven’t tied the knot!

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Usually this is how it all starts;

  • how old are you? (no way!!! you don’t look like a 30+)
  • are you seeing someone?
  • why?? a pretty girl like you….
  • i know this guy, he is a banker, lives in Dubai………..

and the list goes on and on and on. No I am not interested in a Lebanese expat, living the Hollywoodesque life in Dubai yet looking for a bride to settle down and take care of him. Thank you, I know I am beautiful and in lack of nothing (7amdellah!) and I might be dating (which is none of your business) yet haven’t reached the point to be serious with him so as to jump on the bridal gown and hysterically walk down the aisle.

Marriage is over rated, especially in Lebanon. Many of my girlfriends have tied the knot but I can assure you none of them are genuinely happy. My Boy friends? Well they have tied the knot, however after a few years (especially after baby one popped) started acting and parading like reborn singles. Single? officially not! In disguise, yes!

I was inspired in writing this piece, not because I don’t want to get married. No, no, I am going to tie the knot. I am writing this piece after I have received for the third time a Facebook message from an old friend, married with a baby girl, asking about my wellbeing. You see this friend married 5 years ago and like any Lebanese- married boy (no men here), scared that his wife would get jealous from his FB girl friends (while they claim they are respecting their women’s feelings) deleted me, among many, from his friends list. Two years later he sent me a message asking about my whereabouts and everything bullshit related. Fast forward +2 years he sent me a message declaring his crush and the fact that his feelings are in no way related to the fact that he is married. That was when I cut the conversation. Flash Flash forward to the weekend and I get a “hi”. Delete, block!

In short, the following are the ten reasons why I still haven’t tied the knot;

  1. I don’t believe there is a clock ticking somewhere for the institution of marriage regardless the emotional blackmail parents (add the grandparents) chant about seeing your new born in their arms.
  2. Because I don’t believe that anyone can jump the marriage bandwagon only after 6 months of dating; what do you really know about your “other half” within a few months. I call that the honey moon phase, what do you?
  3. I have always played around in my head the “living together” situation. Well we are in the Middle East I know, but we are surely adopting every single Western lifestyle in our culture, what’s with adding this concept to the list?
  4. Divorce is rising by the hour and cheating by the minute.
  5. I do not believe that any written document, whether blessed by God or not, is going to acknowledge my never ending love and blissful happy forever with the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
  6. Some men and women change once they have tied the knot. Real persona comes out, and I am not ready into jumping heads on into an unknown path before being 100% sure of my man.
  7. Because I will not live with someone without mastering and accepting his imperfections fully.
  8. Because I am strong and happy by myself for the time being
  9. Because I am still worried of the whole marriage concept than the wedding date, dress and table seatings.
  10. Because I believe that a couple should have some space when together (taking into consideration here that Middle eastern men are jealous by nature, and the women, mistrustful).
  11. Because I believe in Love and I am not settling down for anyone’s comfort and social acceptance.
  12. And because when I will tie the knot, trust me, its going to be as discreetly as ever. You will all get notified through social media, Instagram anyone?

And this is where I shall leave you pondering on the pros and cons of the Lebanese over rated notion of “marriage”.

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xo

Blind Date? No thanks!!!

 

Disclaimer:  Some Age. Yet FEW  Mature. 

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Why am I still single? because I vowed to myself that I am not going to waste my time entering relationships whereabout the other person does not meet my expectation fully, hence exiting the relationship after a few months.

My expectations? not so far fetched. Physically appealing (yes the physical part is important to us women as much as it is to you testosterone human beings!) yet most importantly fun, easy out going sociable man. I am not going to mention that your other half should at least be from the same social background as yourself, because lets face it, we have been brought up a certain way for 3o years, give or take, and its not within a couple of years into a relationship we are going to compromise drastically for the sake of love. I know I have wasted many years compromising. Where did that lead me to? Broken promises and broken hearts and back to square one. However stronger and visually & mentally aware whom to wait and invest my time and emotions in.

How to meet men and bump into the one? Well i believe that when the time comes it will happen. I am not the type of girl who goes out of her way to look for prince charming. I believe that he is near yet awaiting the right moment to be thrown into your path. He might be your friend and you don’t know it yet. Blind dates? Oh God no! I never have been fond of the fixing up situation among friends, let alone when family members meddle in. I so feel sorry for my girlfriends who still give it a try going on blind dates, set up by some aunt or cousin. Prepare yourself for the following shocking revelation; I accepted to meet someone through a friend of mine! Of all people, yes me! Me who goes against all these societal guidelines, I said yes and went to meet someone. Oh how I should have stuck to my initial viewpoint on the subject matter.

First and foremost, logically speaking, why would a man ask for a third party to set him up with a girl? I mean can’t you meet someone on your own? aren’t you the man? “el ossa kella?” the Lebanese way.

Have you ever had that feeling upon meeting someone for the first time, you want to dig your head in dirt like an ostrich and ran away? Thats what I felt for an hour before heading back home.

You know that feeling when you just don’t click and would never click with a person because from the first exchanged eye contact, you put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out why this person is not in a relationship?

You know those men who know each and every person in the club,whom you see standing with a drink in one hand, scanning the scene, setting their eyes on every single siliconed- toned up gold digging whores around, yet going back home alone?

Those men that will always be seen by the above mentioned bimbos as friends, a brother and nohing more.

Those men that want to settle in the end with the good girl expecting her to have the same out going physics and personality yet when expectations fail reality, will go out of their way to cheat on you. coz yeah as we have all noticed, nowadays going out with a married man is the trend among our desperate Lebanese women. Losers even stand the chance of fulfilling their fantasies.

To those men, please refrain from acting all misunderstood and not finding the right one. Labeling women in general as airheads while your standards only level up to much is your fault and not ours. Do refrain from asking your girl friends to hook you up with whomever they can think of while you are still struggling in fulfilling your dirty Pamela Anderesque fantasy.

Piece of advice; tap as much ass as you can before wanting to settle. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Go. Let it all out!!!

 

ps: As for me, my ideal man? my ex-boyfriend’s close friend. Yeah I know, life is a bitch… oh well, the cool part is that he is so much fun and outgoing that he will be finding me his copy and paste it onto my lap one day! :p xo