You fell in Love with… Thank God it’s Over!

It’s true, before ending with our prince charming we all have kissed a few frogs and those who say they haven’t, well they are lying!

In this blogpost, I decided to share with you a few of the typical men you will one day fall in love with. You will not only regret them, but look back at and laugh at how gullible you were to fight for their love.

By all means, this is not an autobiography. Apart from a few hands-on experiences, it is mostly friends and acquaintance’s stories.

1- The Fuck Boy.

This is the number one asshole every girl will encounter and be manipulated by. Do not judge the girl. She is hopelessly looking for love and easily believing his promises of a future together. His aim is only to get into her pants.He will come up with several excuses when approached by the status of the relationship and take his distances once she starts being clingy. Surprise surprise, when he will eventually have a girlfriend and leave you in disbelief over that fact. But a fuck boy remains a fuck boy. Pray God that you came out of his grip not too harmed.

ps: He will contact you again after his break up. Don’t become one of those “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” quoters. Just move on (away) from him.

2- The Commitophobe (#wordbymoi).

This gentleman (because yeah he generates that vibe) will ask you for a date, take you out to dinner, drinks and integrate you within his circle of friends. You will play house after a few months of being together. It’s a no brainer, he is the One. You’ve already planned you engagement a year+ later but,Surprise! Surprise, he breaks up with you. He is not ready. He never promised you anything. It was all in your head. You think about it and your realize that he is saying the truth indeed. He never talked marriage.

ps: You weren’t his One and trust me no one is either for the few years to come. Thank God he booted you out before that one year turned to two or three, in vain.

3- The Bipolar.

I am not sure if the title fits for this one, let me know if you find a better word for the person I am going to describe next. Before you started being too serious, he was openminded, generous, welcoming and embracing of your friends. Once the relationship tumbled into serious mode (after a few months) he completely changed. He became jealous of your friends, those same ones he met and enjoyed a couple of drinks with. You kissed your girls night out goodbye instantly. Your wardrobe became too skimpy for his likes. He started patronizing you and mistook his role of bf to father figure. The relationship ended because you just couldn’t continue with this new version of X.

ps: In my opinion, get away as soon as those traits come out of your boyfriend. You do not need a 21st century version of Khomeini in your future.

4- The condescending One.

You will never understand how you came to be in a relationship with this one. On paper he is perfect; same background, same religion, class and status. Your parents mingle within the same circle and well know one another too. Eventually you succumbed after a couple of dates into becoming his gf. For the wrong reasons. The latter being too good on paper than anything else. He doesn’t acknowledge you as a person, as his second half, only as the future trophy wife. He feels at ease in disrespecting you and your aspirations are null. He permits himself into acting this way because coming from a Middle Eastern society, women are desperately looking for their future husband based on these above mentioned points which, praise the Lord, you two have, so be merry and shut up. He abuses you emotionally. After a few months and many given chances you both give up. It just isn’t meant to be, pen & paper aside.

ps: It is a shame but it goes without saying, don’t settle for the one that will make your family and community happy. Go for the one that make YOU happy.

5- The Cheater.

He lacks self confidence. He has an emotional instability that dates back to his family dynamics. Oedipus’s complex much? Add to that; He is the player that suddenly turned saint when he met you. He wants to marry you. Shows you his materialistic accomplishments and offers you security. He takes you out and shows you off to everyone. You feel like a Queen. No you are the Queen. Now you peasants can become jealous. But we left out one thing here; the joke’s on you. You are a victim of his manipulative behavior. You are just a number, the xx-enth victim of his mind games. His goal? Well nothing at all. Life is a game for him. Get out of the field.

ps: He is a baller. And like that he is going to bounce in and out of your life if you permit it. Move on already and thank your prayers he’s on to his next victim.

 

It’s sad to know that there are many other types of relationships in which women fell and fought hard to keep for the wrong reasons.

Yes we have loved such men, and yes we imagined our future with them. However, I believe that God played a big role in teaching us lessons from such union and set us back to life in order to know whom to wait for.

Have you found your other half yet?

Trust me, you will…

xo

The Lebanese Pre-requisite for Love.

Note to reader: The love that I am going to be talking about in the following post is the one that you feel towards a certain other significant. I want to shed some light towards the Lebanese way of searching for love which I personally find wrong and sad.

Love is a universal feeling. The definition of love is complex though it should not be. By complex I mean, Lebanese women stress a lot on the fact of finding their perfect other half based on superficial aspects instead of the basic (intangible) ones.

At first, we all want to love and be loved. That emotional aspect is what we crave since childhood, some of us planning our fairy tales weddings while others day dreaming of that prince in shining armor sweeping us our feet (or in this case, our parents household). Along the years we tend to forget about the “feeling of love” and stress more and more on the tangible return on investment we want to receive from getting hitched (or staying in long term relationships). I do understand the fact that many women want security before leaving their parental cocoon. We all strive to search for the comfort we have been living all our lives. (Note the significant change in searching for love while we were kids and that of adulthood).

However, Lebanese women have gone up a notch with their requirements in finding the perfect match. Whenever I hear a conversation revolving around the lack of men in this country vs the percentage of single women in their 30s, I cringe. Every single woman “de passage” that I have met stress on the traits they are looking for in a man. Traits that have absolutely nothing to do with a man’s character. Traits that have everything to do with the social and financial status of the man himself. The perfect match should be a millionaire (the least), with the latest cars (yes one is not enough) an already acquired house (in those fancy newly developed skyscrapers) and most importantly at the head of his own business. Anything less is unimaginable. A No-No! 3eyb!!

Women who come from a certain background, brought up in wealth and status, already mingle with their male counterparts and marry off within their circle. It is understandable and quite logical.What is laughable and sad are the women who have a modest background, already in their mid-thirties, single and complaining. These women have set the level so high that they do not even know where to go to bump into such men.

Now comes the rude wake up call part;

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You have managed your whole life on a modest lifestyle, your parents have done their best, providing you with the important basic needs; a shelter, an education and food on the table. Not sure how many times you have reads books or watched tv shows stressing that happiness is not found in materialistic objects. I will say it again, it’s not. But since you are already 30+ and insisting of the contrary than I can only say you are as stubborn as f*&*k (and clearly have never owned any expensive items to understand the real value behind it). Further more, why should any other person work his ass off to pamper your little yogi plastic ass? Your looks? There are hundreds of clones just like you and younger (oups) down the line waiting to snatch the “prince” (note; common trait among those women is the amount of plastic done). Your brains? Well if you did have one you wouldn’t have drained it for this project but used it for better a purpose, a career, a job maybe… (note; I forget to mention that these women have one goal, to become housewives. Ambitious right? ). And last but not least when was the last time you saw a man with the above mentioned characteristics ever being respectful and faithful to his girlfriend/wife? With the amount of bling they live in, everything being at their reach, they are either stingy or/and narcissistic, placing their needs first, trust me, not yours (note; maybe you do deserve one another!).

Love is amazing. Love is beautiful. Loving and being loved by one man only is goal. Finding that one man who will place you above the rest and be faithful to you and respect you when in public as well as in private should be what you are looking for. There might be a wait, yes I won’t lie about that, but TRUST ME when I say that the wait is WORTH IT. He might not be rich, he might come from a modest background, but he has been brought up so well that he has the most important aspects engraved in him; respect, care and generosity. You can’t go wrong with that. He is out there.

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Either be humble and patient. Or get yourself  a macho asshole, but bare in mind, the divorce rate is in rise. But what is alarming is the amount of bitches roaming around these married men and the hook – up culture being embraced by latter.

Don’t say I did’d warn you!!!

ciao 😉

 

 

 

12 reasons why I still haven’t tied the knot!

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Usually this is how it all starts;

  • how old are you? (no way!!! you don’t look like a 30+)
  • are you seeing someone?
  • why?? a pretty girl like you….
  • i know this guy, he is a banker, lives in Dubai………..

and the list goes on and on and on. No I am not interested in a Lebanese expat, living the Hollywoodesque life in Dubai yet looking for a bride to settle down and take care of him. Thank you, I know I am beautiful and in lack of nothing (7amdellah!) and I might be dating (which is none of your business) yet haven’t reached the point to be serious with him so as to jump on the bridal gown and hysterically walk down the aisle.

Marriage is over rated, especially in Lebanon. Many of my girlfriends have tied the knot but I can assure you none of them are genuinely happy. My Boy friends? Well they have tied the knot, however after a few years (especially after baby one popped) started acting and parading like reborn singles. Single? officially not! In disguise, yes!

I was inspired in writing this piece, not because I don’t want to get married. No, no, I am going to tie the knot. I am writing this piece after I have received for the third time a Facebook message from an old friend, married with a baby girl, asking about my wellbeing. You see this friend married 5 years ago and like any Lebanese- married boy (no men here), scared that his wife would get jealous from his FB girl friends (while they claim they are respecting their women’s feelings) deleted me, among many, from his friends list. Two years later he sent me a message asking about my whereabouts and everything bullshit related. Fast forward +2 years he sent me a message declaring his crush and the fact that his feelings are in no way related to the fact that he is married. That was when I cut the conversation. Flash Flash forward to the weekend and I get a “hi”. Delete, block!

In short, the following are the ten reasons why I still haven’t tied the knot;

  1. I don’t believe there is a clock ticking somewhere for the institution of marriage regardless the emotional blackmail parents (add the grandparents) chant about seeing your new born in their arms.
  2. Because I don’t believe that anyone can jump the marriage bandwagon only after 6 months of dating; what do you really know about your “other half” within a few months. I call that the honey moon phase, what do you?
  3. I have always played around in my head the “living together” situation. Well we are in the Middle East I know, but we are surely adopting every single Western lifestyle in our culture, what’s with adding this concept to the list?
  4. Divorce is rising by the hour and cheating by the minute.
  5. I do not believe that any written document, whether blessed by God or not, is going to acknowledge my never ending love and blissful happy forever with the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
  6. Some men and women change once they have tied the knot. Real persona comes out, and I am not ready into jumping heads on into an unknown path before being 100% sure of my man.
  7. Because I will not live with someone without mastering and accepting his imperfections fully.
  8. Because I am strong and happy by myself for the time being
  9. Because I am still worried of the whole marriage concept than the wedding date, dress and table seatings.
  10. Because I believe that a couple should have some space when together (taking into consideration here that Middle eastern men are jealous by nature, and the women, mistrustful).
  11. Because I believe in Love and I am not settling down for anyone’s comfort and social acceptance.
  12. And because when I will tie the knot, trust me, its going to be as discreetly as ever. You will all get notified through social media, Instagram anyone?

And this is where I shall leave you pondering on the pros and cons of the Lebanese over rated notion of “marriage”.

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xo