You fell in Love with… Thank God it’s Over!

It’s true, before ending with our prince charming we all have kissed a few frogs and those who say they haven’t, well they are lying!

In this blogpost, I decided to share with you a few of the typical men you will one day fall in love with. You will not only regret them, but look back at and laugh at how gullible you were to fight for their love.

By all means, this is not an autobiography. Apart from a few hands-on experiences, it is mostly friends and acquaintance’s stories.

1- The Fuck Boy.

This is the number one asshole every girl will encounter and be manipulated by. Do not judge the girl. She is hopelessly looking for love and easily believing his promises of a future together. His aim is only to get into her pants.He will come up with several excuses when approached by the status of the relationship and take his distances once she starts being clingy. Surprise surprise, when he will eventually have a girlfriend and leave you in disbelief over that fact. But a fuck boy remains a fuck boy. Pray God that you came out of his grip not too harmed.

ps: He will contact you again after his break up. Don’t become one of those “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me” quoters. Just move on (away) from him.

2- The Commitophobe (#wordbymoi).

This gentleman (because yeah he generates that vibe) will ask you for a date, take you out to dinner, drinks and integrate you within his circle of friends. You will play house after a few months of being together. It’s a no brainer, he is the One. You’ve already planned you engagement a year+ later but,Surprise! Surprise, he breaks up with you. He is not ready. He never promised you anything. It was all in your head. You think about it and your realize that he is saying the truth indeed. He never talked marriage.

ps: You weren’t his One and trust me no one is either for the few years to come. Thank God he booted you out before that one year turned to two or three, in vain.

3- The Bipolar.

I am not sure if the title fits for this one, let me know if you find a better word for the person I am going to describe next. Before you started being too serious, he was openminded, generous, welcoming and embracing of your friends. Once the relationship tumbled into serious mode (after a few months) he completely changed. He became jealous of your friends, those same ones he met and enjoyed a couple of drinks with. You kissed your girls night out goodbye instantly. Your wardrobe became too skimpy for his likes. He started patronizing you and mistook his role of bf to father figure. The relationship ended because you just couldn’t continue with this new version of X.

ps: In my opinion, get away as soon as those traits come out of your boyfriend. You do not need a 21st century version of Khomeini in your future.

4- The condescending One.

You will never understand how you came to be in a relationship with this one. On paper he is perfect; same background, same religion, class and status. Your parents mingle within the same circle and well know one another too. Eventually you succumbed after a couple of dates into becoming his gf. For the wrong reasons. The latter being too good on paper than anything else. He doesn’t acknowledge you as a person, as his second half, only as the future trophy wife. He feels at ease in disrespecting you and your aspirations are null. He permits himself into acting this way because coming from a Middle Eastern society, women are desperately looking for their future husband based on these above mentioned points which, praise the Lord, you two have, so be merry and shut up. He abuses you emotionally. After a few months and many given chances you both give up. It just isn’t meant to be, pen & paper aside.

ps: It is a shame but it goes without saying, don’t settle for the one that will make your family and community happy. Go for the one that make YOU happy.

5- The Cheater.

He lacks self confidence. He has an emotional instability that dates back to his family dynamics. Oedipus’s complex much? Add to that; He is the player that suddenly turned saint when he met you. He wants to marry you. Shows you his materialistic accomplishments and offers you security. He takes you out and shows you off to everyone. You feel like a Queen. No you are the Queen. Now you peasants can become jealous. But we left out one thing here; the joke’s on you. You are a victim of his manipulative behavior. You are just a number, the xx-enth victim of his mind games. His goal? Well nothing at all. Life is a game for him. Get out of the field.

ps: He is a baller. And like that he is going to bounce in and out of your life if you permit it. Move on already and thank your prayers he’s on to his next victim.

 

It’s sad to know that there are many other types of relationships in which women fell and fought hard to keep for the wrong reasons.

Yes we have loved such men, and yes we imagined our future with them. However, I believe that God played a big role in teaching us lessons from such union and set us back to life in order to know whom to wait for.

Have you found your other half yet?

Trust me, you will…

xo

Drunk Texting Anyone?

Whether we wanna admit it or not we all have drunk texted someone in the past. To those who do not wanna admit to this very normal inebriated behavior, here are a few of the drunk texts you might have received in your life time;

  • What’s up?

Generally you receive this type of two worded texts on any given weekend after the wee hours. Let’s say on a Saturday at 3.30 am. Surely you don’t expect me to believe that your ‘friend’ texted so as to inquire about your health. If he wanted to join you on your outing, trust me you would have received that text prior 10 at night.

  • From your ex?

This one is the best message you can receive especially after a bad breakup initiated by the gentleman in question. This can only mean that you are in his thoughts (yeah even if he is drunk). Don’t they say, truth comes out of a drunken tongue ? (or something like that!?)

  • Wrong messages?

It is only the day after that you dread holding your phone and going through the texts and calls of the night before. Apart from the above mentioned drunk texts sent and received you will notice that you might have sent a couple to strange numbers which to be honest I prefer to the incomprehensible ones to friends. Gh%!^~*BJK!!!!! right?!!!

  • Blanking ?

One of my favorite is ‘accidentally’ sending a blank text to your crush. Worse case scenario you can blame the phone for sending it by mistake. Damn you technology!!! (Just try to make sure when explaining face to face one day to not having your phone locked with a password!).

  • FB messenger too?

You have an infinite block list on your phone? So do I. But when there is a will, there is a way; Facebook messenger! Like Trump said it over and over again > What a mess!!! Let’s just say that I uninstalled that option from my phone. Trust me you do not wanna receive a drunk text when out and about, from someone who has noticed that he cannot reach you through proper phone channels (whatsapp, plain text messaging..).

There is no shame in drunk texting. We all did it. We might not have been proud about it but our sole excuse is that we learn from our mistakes. Drunk texting is an excuse when you are in your twenties. But when you have entered your mid 30s and still getting drunk on weekends and texting incomprehensibly then I can only manage to tell you this : You are a pathetic loser. Get a life boy!

Zzzzzzzzz……..

 

 

A Best Friend? My real Myth!

What is a best friend? Do we need one in our life? How does one become another’s best friend? Are there guidelines? Actions & behaviors to cross off before becoming one officially?

I have had best friends all throughout the different stages of my life. As you all know, we grow up, circumstances change, location even, hence new friendships formed and best friends born out of. However I have learnt through my experiences that the notion of a best friend is over rated and I have decided not to have one. Seriously, why should I favorite one person, if not two, out of the people that happen to be part of my life? Is it because I am in contact with that specific person more than the others? Or because some unfortunate event drew us close to one another? Experience taught me not to confide into anyone if not related by blood.

Regardless of the reason, I do not believe that one person should be held on a pedestal.

When you know you have to call it quits:

  • Not receiving the same amount of attention, emotion, care and respect. I noticed that I have been far more reaching to my best friend’s distress and call of help that I did not realize the lack of reciprocity. Much energy was drained from my person that I stopped altogether looking forward for casual meetings. We all need love and care. Even a therapist sees a therapist.
  • The physical distance which was there for years started having an impact on the relationship. Less texts, less social media contact, and non existent phone calls paved way to us drifting away. Even when in the same city, keeping in touch seemed less frequent. Mind you, it takes two to tango.
  • Every person is broken, that is why we seek refuge into another human being. To feel whole again. But when unexpected situations and actions further cut your wounds deeply, you set some boundaries, build a wall and distance yourself.
  • We grow up. We change. Friendship changes. It is not supposed to stand the test of time. Circumstances leads to different mindset, different approach and different, sometime contradictory, behaviors. However, if you ask me, the worse slap in the face is when one matures whereas the other one is still stuck in a rut, a mindset of his own.

You changed? Life happened. If you are not feeling loved and you are not happy with the current situation, then stop fighting for that friendship. Cherish the memories. Call it quits. Trust me you have gained and not lost.

Can I untag myself from being your Best of Friend? Thank you!

 

 

 

 

An Open Letter to My Girl Friends

 

Dear Girl Friend

I have been waking up everyday meaning to talk to you yet have not had the strength nor the courage to call you. On this special occasion, I am writing to you this letter.

As you must have known till now, you are among the rare people that I like to hang out & interact with whether its on social media platforms or in get togethers. My circle of friends is limited not because I am some sort of pariah but simply because I do not trust women. You see throughout my life, I have lost endless relationships because I could not bother interacting with women who are not passionate and intellect, jealous women who put gossiping and taking down other women their priority. 

I might not see you regularly and our meetings might have come to a halt for a while. However, you are truly dear to me. You are one of a kind. Your drive to succeed in life while pursuing your passion is what drew me to you in the first place. The fact that you do not develop any envious feelings towards another human being as well. They say you can only surround yourself with people who you share similar traits with. They are right, hence you.

My dear friend, you have always believed in me even when I had lost that same belief. You have always been there for me and pushed me to test my own limits. Whether you know it or not, it is your own drive and hard work that kept me going in pursuing my passion and succeed in it. Your words of encouragement helped me to survive this chaotic world. Your unbiased opinions have shed a light to my path. You have opened my eyes and I am grateful for it. 

I enjoy myself every time I am out and about with you. I learn new things whenever I stumble on a post or a picture you have been generous enough to share with the rest of us. 

My dearest friend, we might have not seen one another as of late, both of us being kept hostage by our passionate work, however know that you are an amazing soul and a beautiful empowering woman. 

Happy International Women’s Day.

xo 

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(Photo courtesy of Instagram)

Lebanese Married Men; you disgust me.

What is wrong with Lebanese married men? Seriously if you cannot handle monogamy just don’t tie the knot, plain and simple.

Most of my friends & acquaintances are married for years now and I am happy for them. They respect their wives and have adorable cute little baby girls and boys. Facebook profile pictures are family picture perfect shots and captions under each post of family outings and date nights with their other half, lovey dovey (if you know what I mean). So let me elaborate what I am not getting and respect to the above mentioned guy friends (do not feel directed coz you are not).

When Facebook started we all added people left and right, right? especially those ‘friends’ we shared one class at university and never set a word to afterwards. This person (my bad) stayed on your friends list because you thought he was harmless and since was on a dormant status online you forgot he was even there in the first place.. until he tied the knot and it was a nonstop online fiesta of pictures and statuses.

Well I share your happiness for the simple fact that I know you thought you were never gonna get married, especially not to a gorgeous woman. Yeah you got her, made your nerdy friends jealous, established the perfect little family and now after ten years you are bored. Well let me tell you something; BOUHOU! You are bored? get a puppy! Do not think that inbox-ing your female friends on Facebook asking for coffee and catching up whenever you are back in town solo is gonna make us drop everything and run to you. Let me be straight; its not because you have gotten yourself a wife, that your failed macho behavior (from the back old days) is gonna work its magic now! She fell for it but I’ll tell you I never did nor will now that you are carrying a ring on your left finger. Respect that piece of jewel you have gotten yourself and choo.

Why do men stoop to this level? I think I got myself an idea why.

First of all, these are the boys from the past who never caught any girls attention. why? because am sure they used to pick and be all mean (like little boys are at school) when they got interested in a girl.

Second of all, they grew into men with a lack of everything likable to attract any decent woman in their teenage/university lives. They relied on materialistic objects to impose a self importance air on their entourage, for example Mo and his Ferrari. Mo will be associated with his car and trust me when I say he will always be womanless due to his attitude (am not counting gold diggers).

And Last, they will marry off the good girl from the well established family (same village, religion… you know the riddle by now).

Its the lack of dating & mingling with the opposite sex that has led most of the Lebanese married men to knock (poke here) on their female friends Facebook profile for a get together.  You think I am exaggerating? I think I am matured and experienced enough to know who is knocking on my door for a genuine friendly get together and who has a hidden agenda.

Lebanese Married Men two words for you; sod off!

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Lebanese Bitches Be Like.

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Lebanese women you might have been voted one of the most beautiful species in the world thanks to your mediterranean roots (and your  surgeon) however most of you come with that bitchy attitude plastered on your forehead  like a necessary tag price.

I find it hard to find one or two gorgeous creatures INSIDE out. There might be humble personalities along with all that plastic out there but tell me what are the odds of that?

Lebanese Bitches are those who do not have any positive support system towards their girlfriends, (close or not), who do not respect female sisterhood ethics system and most importantly who will crush any woman standing along their path and goals.

I have been blessed after all those passing years and the ups and downs I faced with my girl friends (who have exited my life) to have surrounded myself with hard working women who empower each other and share the same vision and support system towards one another.

Girls like that are hard to find and once established a strong bond with, advised to hold strongly and dearly to the heart.

The following are three of the Lebanese typical bitches that roam our society and all of you should be aware of;

  • The hidden jealous types; those are the ones who will never ever acknowledge to you straight to your face and in the open their true feelings towards anything and everything you do. They will advise you bad styling advice and wrong comforting words about your relationship status (break ups/hook- ups and crushes).
  • The competitive ones; those will envy your ambition, your drive and your passion towards your projects/jobs and prospective plans. Word of advice: Never share everything with anyone.
  • The breakers; those are the worse you can ever possibly bump into. They do not want you to be happy. They will do the impossible to break up your couple/marriage if they have set their eyes on your man. Being the mistress for them in these situations is not a shame even if it means that everyone knows that the man they are after is using them for sex only.

I have only listed the above mentioned characteristics that sum up perfectly each and every biatch that crosses our path.

The New Year is -1 Day and I am sure all of you have set your priorities straight for what is to come in 2016. Whether you are planning your next project, relocating to a fresh start, stepping up in your relationship status, just take a moment and ponder if you have or suspect having a certain girl friend that fits the above. If you do, then delete her from your life. They might be charming to your face and rightfully by your side now but you never know when that bomb will finally tick off.

Till then I wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year 2016 blessed with love, health and success.

D-1 unfolding the Madness & Magic in Me & You.

xo

 

 

 

Blind Date? No thanks!!!

 

Disclaimer:  Some Age. Yet FEW  Mature. 

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Why am I still single? because I vowed to myself that I am not going to waste my time entering relationships whereabout the other person does not meet my expectation fully, hence exiting the relationship after a few months.

My expectations? not so far fetched. Physically appealing (yes the physical part is important to us women as much as it is to you testosterone human beings!) yet most importantly fun, easy out going sociable man. I am not going to mention that your other half should at least be from the same social background as yourself, because lets face it, we have been brought up a certain way for 3o years, give or take, and its not within a couple of years into a relationship we are going to compromise drastically for the sake of love. I know I have wasted many years compromising. Where did that lead me to? Broken promises and broken hearts and back to square one. However stronger and visually & mentally aware whom to wait and invest my time and emotions in.

How to meet men and bump into the one? Well i believe that when the time comes it will happen. I am not the type of girl who goes out of her way to look for prince charming. I believe that he is near yet awaiting the right moment to be thrown into your path. He might be your friend and you don’t know it yet. Blind dates? Oh God no! I never have been fond of the fixing up situation among friends, let alone when family members meddle in. I so feel sorry for my girlfriends who still give it a try going on blind dates, set up by some aunt or cousin. Prepare yourself for the following shocking revelation; I accepted to meet someone through a friend of mine! Of all people, yes me! Me who goes against all these societal guidelines, I said yes and went to meet someone. Oh how I should have stuck to my initial viewpoint on the subject matter.

First and foremost, logically speaking, why would a man ask for a third party to set him up with a girl? I mean can’t you meet someone on your own? aren’t you the man? “el ossa kella?” the Lebanese way.

Have you ever had that feeling upon meeting someone for the first time, you want to dig your head in dirt like an ostrich and ran away? Thats what I felt for an hour before heading back home.

You know that feeling when you just don’t click and would never click with a person because from the first exchanged eye contact, you put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out why this person is not in a relationship?

You know those men who know each and every person in the club,whom you see standing with a drink in one hand, scanning the scene, setting their eyes on every single siliconed- toned up gold digging whores around, yet going back home alone?

Those men that will always be seen by the above mentioned bimbos as friends, a brother and nohing more.

Those men that want to settle in the end with the good girl expecting her to have the same out going physics and personality yet when expectations fail reality, will go out of their way to cheat on you. coz yeah as we have all noticed, nowadays going out with a married man is the trend among our desperate Lebanese women. Losers even stand the chance of fulfilling their fantasies.

To those men, please refrain from acting all misunderstood and not finding the right one. Labeling women in general as airheads while your standards only level up to much is your fault and not ours. Do refrain from asking your girl friends to hook you up with whomever they can think of while you are still struggling in fulfilling your dirty Pamela Anderesque fantasy.

Piece of advice; tap as much ass as you can before wanting to settle. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Go. Let it all out!!!

 

ps: As for me, my ideal man? my ex-boyfriend’s close friend. Yeah I know, life is a bitch… oh well, the cool part is that he is so much fun and outgoing that he will be finding me his copy and paste it onto my lap one day! :p xo