Small habits that can change your life goals.

 

Today I decided to share with you some habits that I have adopted not too long ago and that have considerably changed my outlook on life. These behavioral changes might have crossed your mind from time to time. You may even have adopted them on the short term, however have you tried on implementing them on the long run?

Well I have and for some time now I have been feeling at ease. Not only because I am religiously abiding by them, nope. But because with it came a sense of peace and acceptance of who I am and where my life is leading me. Such changes led me to re-inspect my life and the person that I am becoming irrelevant of my surroundings’ approval or not. One word of advice; we are the generation that is always blooming compared to our parents’ generation. Hence we should not let past generations keep us from going further.

Now to the subject matter in hand, the following is for you;

Less social media when you are out socially . Focus on the present and not past and future digital content on your phone.

Read Everyday . I am old fashioned and I love reading books. So should you. Reading expands the mind and enriches your vocabulary. Try it. And no, articles on some shady websites are not considered reading material.

Make your health a priority . By eating healthy and working out daily. The world (pollution) has changed and we no longer have the strong immune system our grandparents bragged about. Make time for your health.

Learn from people you admire . And that I say literally. When you are with the person you admire, pay close attention to his/her body language, communication skills and get motivated by that person’s positive push and accomplishments. If he/she succeeded, why can’t you?

Plan your day the night before . What works for me is writing down on a piece of paper next day’s tasks. Ticking them off one by one along the day motivates me to further end the day with everything I set my mind, to be done.

Take action, even when it’s scary . Nothing is scary in life. Being scared is a state of mind. Have faith in your self and bare in mind that you need to work a lot to make it happen in this world.

It is okay to be introvert . You don’t need to always be out there surrounded with people to make a statement. Sometimes it is okay to shy away from your friends. I happen to have a lot of those me, myself and I times and I quite honestly love them. These are the moments that are productive for your inner peaceful self.

Invest your time in the arts . Art, music, dance soothes the eye, the mind and the body. Try once in a while listening to an old record, going to an art exhibit or take some steps with the melody on the record player. Let me know what state of mind you will be afterwards.

You are your number one priority . Not your family nor your friends. You are. Never forget that.

We are already in March within the new year. Last year passed far too quickly. I vouched not to let 2017 pass quicker without putting myself on my top priority list. This behavioral decision might come as a shock to some people who always relied on my compassion and patience. This time round however, my adopted habits are staying on the long run and as an arabic saying goes “eza mich 3ajebkon, balto el ba7er” .

Thank you!

Blind Date? No thanks!!!

 

Disclaimer:  Some Age. Yet FEW  Mature. 

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Why am I still single? because I vowed to myself that I am not going to waste my time entering relationships whereabout the other person does not meet my expectation fully, hence exiting the relationship after a few months.

My expectations? not so far fetched. Physically appealing (yes the physical part is important to us women as much as it is to you testosterone human beings!) yet most importantly fun, easy out going sociable man. I am not going to mention that your other half should at least be from the same social background as yourself, because lets face it, we have been brought up a certain way for 3o years, give or take, and its not within a couple of years into a relationship we are going to compromise drastically for the sake of love. I know I have wasted many years compromising. Where did that lead me to? Broken promises and broken hearts and back to square one. However stronger and visually & mentally aware whom to wait and invest my time and emotions in.

How to meet men and bump into the one? Well i believe that when the time comes it will happen. I am not the type of girl who goes out of her way to look for prince charming. I believe that he is near yet awaiting the right moment to be thrown into your path. He might be your friend and you don’t know it yet. Blind dates? Oh God no! I never have been fond of the fixing up situation among friends, let alone when family members meddle in. I so feel sorry for my girlfriends who still give it a try going on blind dates, set up by some aunt or cousin. Prepare yourself for the following shocking revelation; I accepted to meet someone through a friend of mine! Of all people, yes me! Me who goes against all these societal guidelines, I said yes and went to meet someone. Oh how I should have stuck to my initial viewpoint on the subject matter.

First and foremost, logically speaking, why would a man ask for a third party to set him up with a girl? I mean can’t you meet someone on your own? aren’t you the man? “el ossa kella?” the Lebanese way.

Have you ever had that feeling upon meeting someone for the first time, you want to dig your head in dirt like an ostrich and ran away? Thats what I felt for an hour before heading back home.

You know that feeling when you just don’t click and would never click with a person because from the first exchanged eye contact, you put the pieces of the puzzle together and figured out why this person is not in a relationship?

You know those men who know each and every person in the club,whom you see standing with a drink in one hand, scanning the scene, setting their eyes on every single siliconed- toned up gold digging whores around, yet going back home alone?

Those men that will always be seen by the above mentioned bimbos as friends, a brother and nohing more.

Those men that want to settle in the end with the good girl expecting her to have the same out going physics and personality yet when expectations fail reality, will go out of their way to cheat on you. coz yeah as we have all noticed, nowadays going out with a married man is the trend among our desperate Lebanese women. Losers even stand the chance of fulfilling their fantasies.

To those men, please refrain from acting all misunderstood and not finding the right one. Labeling women in general as airheads while your standards only level up to much is your fault and not ours. Do refrain from asking your girl friends to hook you up with whomever they can think of while you are still struggling in fulfilling your dirty Pamela Anderesque fantasy.

Piece of advice; tap as much ass as you can before wanting to settle. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Go. Let it all out!!!

 

ps: As for me, my ideal man? my ex-boyfriend’s close friend. Yeah I know, life is a bitch… oh well, the cool part is that he is so much fun and outgoing that he will be finding me his copy and paste it onto my lap one day! :p xo

Some Things Post- Mortem.

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A loss is a tragedy that can befall on anyone, anywhere and at anytime. The loss of a dear  family member as well as that of a close friend is a fact that we are all going to go through at some point in our lives. This tragic episode of one’s life will never be understood by your friend, especially after months of mourning.

I lost my father a few months back and although they tell you time heals everything, I can rest assure you that it does not. Unfortunately, one can not wish this tragedy upon the other for some empathy. Only you will sympathize with yourself. Unconsciously along the mourning process, you will be faced with life changing questions. Without even realizing what is happening, you will wake up one day after a few months a new you.

Here are few of the irrevocable changes that a person in mourning goes through unconsciously;

– You wake up one day with all feelings drained out of your body. You become numb. You can not differentiate between love, loss, happiness and sadness. You do not know what to feel and you lack reaction to situations, conversations and people. Days pass with ups and downs. You don’t lose hope. You hope one day to regain your senses back.

– You do not tolerate being around other human beings. Sometimes seeing a friend is an ordeal while other days it is what you have mostly been awaiting for. Some friends will never hear from you again while others will be happy with your increased presence in their life. Reasons for maintaining old friendships and developing new ones will be based on a different and new out look on life (no harm nor offense to be taken).

– You might have become the numb version of yourself yet you can be fascinated by the ability of seeing things and people through. Your whole system has not shut itself down. You still have control of your defensive senses. No one can take advantage of you. Let them try and all hell will be unleashed.

– You lose some of that joy of life we all have within and take for granted. You might still go out for a drink or two with a restrictive party of two or three close friends but you can not tolerate the big party spaces with abundant alcohol and ear damaging music.

– You invest your time in pursuing and developing new/ old passions. No one will understand your sudden interest in solo times off. They do not need to. You will work hard in silence and let someday success make the noise. Suddenly, ‘Me, Myself and I’ make complete sense.

– You lose any sense of security. Hence for a person who never stayed at home, you find yourself more indoors than outdoors.

 

Your life has changed 180 degrees and will never return back to the way it used to be. The tools that were there to make you function everyday will suddenly break down and the arrival of the tool man will take forever. Rare are the ones who will be patient and tolerant of your mood swings and apathy. You will sleep everyday praying that this period ends the next day. You will wake up everyday and realize that you still are not there and might have a long way ahead.

Life is a mystery one should hang on to. One day all be back to normal. Yet not quite so.

 

The Light at the End of the tunnel….

We have all reached a certain point in our lives in which we gave up or pondered on giving up on our goals and dreams. I know I have many times. Life is not easy and throughout the days, months and even years, we face many setbacks that make our path in this world difficult and challenging. It is important to note down that snapping out of this phase, instead of giving in completely, is much more rewarding on our well being and mental state.

The following, in my opinion, is the main aspects in our life that we need to fight for so as to succeed and be at peace with ourselves and our surrounding:

Love;

Love is a beautiful feeling whether we are sharing it with someone or projecting it towards an object, a situation. It is a state of mind that fills us with positivity and confidence. A person filled with love is a person that will, unconsciously, surround himself with happiness. Love is free.

We all went through bad relationships and swore to never again make the same mistake or fall for a certain type of person. However we are merely human beings searching for re-assurance and falling back into the same trap we promised never ever to. Instead of crossing away that aspect of our life and becoming bitter and negative, we should hold our head up high and forgive whatever happened and move on. We should never cease to love and give up a chance to a new relationship based on our past experiences. People make mistakes and not all of us were built the same way. Analyzing the situation and coming up with a sustainable closure helps us to move forward. Moreover, we can never truly know what were the reasons behind someone’s behavior and decisions. We can only wish them luck in their quest and luck in finding that right person that will appease them and make them genuinely happy. We know that we are and we are proud of the person we have become; strong, determined and more than ever loving and caring.

Friendship;

I have always said that it is not the number of friends that one has but the quality of friends that is important in life. We all have different kind of friends; the best friend, the acquaintance, the childhood friend, the party/ social friend, the college friend and the most recent and popular one on the list, the social media ‘friend’. When we establish and pursue a friendship, regardless of its genre, we take the first step and acknowledge that we are dedicating ourselves in maintaining this relationship. Needless to say that friendship is not always perfect. We tend to have different opinions and argue and we sometimes shift and drift away as one of the two persons involved evolved in a new path that is not aligned with the other. Regardless of the reason one should always maintain his friends close (and enemies closer!).

For most of us, friends are our second family and pushing them away can only harm us more than we can imagine. We all need at some point a ‘me’ moment and hence hide away and spend time figuring out our next move and goals. We all have that one friend that disappears for days and weeks long and then pops back un- announced and takes on where he left. We are understanding and respect their decisions. Never give up on your friend especially at moments like this. We do not know what they are going through and these are the ones that need us most. On the other hand, if we are going through a turmoil and need the space and time to gather our thoughts, the only thing that can be encouraged is not to stay in this state of mind permanently. When something becomes a habit it is very difficult to snap out of it. I am sure that we have all established understanding friends that will embrace us back with arms wide open. Truth be said, no one has ever been happy and survived on his own in this world.

Career; 

How often do we hear our surrounding complaining about their bureaucratic job? And how often do we notice that few are those that take the initiative in changing their current situation?

I used to hold a 8 to 5 job in a bank. I was miserable all day long, every day and for the entire 3 years spent in that institution. Then one day I woke up, quit my job and went back to school in order to pursue my passion; arts.

I admit it is not an easy decision and requires some gut and perseverance.

I wish our society was more accepting and lenient.

Let me elaborate.

A lot of my friends face this dilemma. They are unhappy and long for a change. However, their lack of determination and self- confidence sets them back. Furthermore, we should not forget the already established ideologies our society holds towards certain professions. Shift away and you are considered a fool.

It is easy to find excuses; I am too old for a career change, I am not sure I will succeed down this road, what if I don’t make it, my parents will freak out if i quit my secure job, they say you can’t live decently on an artist’s payroll, i don’t have the means of re- starting… and the list goes on.

To all those who want to shift careers and dive into the unknown, I can assure you that fear will be present along the way.  However, when one is persistent, ambitious and determined to succeed, no obstacle can prevent him from reaching self- actualization and obtaining self- reward and recognition.

Steve Job puts it eloquently “Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” 

 

I believe that these three points play an important role in the life of each one of us. Our life revolves around love, friendship and pursuing a passionate career. We all go through some upheaval moments and it is in our hands to either snap out of it or linger. Recently, someone told me that there is a light in the end of the tunnel in any situation you might get yourself in. I agree with you.

 

Live Love

xo

Khalil; the Gigolo Expat

It is a known fact that most of our men immigrate to neighboring arab countries so as to establish their career and hence build their future. A concept that is not available to many due to the country’s economic depression, low income and restrained opportunities in many field of studies.

Khalil finished his studies in one of the top universities of the city and after enjoying his long summer vacations partying, he travelled to the GCC to build himself from scratch promising his parents and then girlfriend to come back in a few years time to established himself in his mother country; a better man and successful entrepreneur. Traveling to the unknown with confidence, he left behind proud parents and a doubtful, heart broken flame who took the path of the many in the line of long distance relationships.

Khalil is your mid 30 year old ambitious and clever lebanese expat. His charm and intelligence made him one of the few established successful immigrant these last ten years in his hosting country. Single, he long ago realized that a long distance relationship would only setback his career and let us face it, he is caring enough not to leave his then girlfriend waiting for the promised few years+ in vain. His parents are understanding and could not have found a better situation so as to brag about their only son’s exaggerated accomplishments. Its a win-win situation for all (except the ex girlfriend, we understand your frustration!).

Khalil has it all. The career, the money, the fame and most importantly the flock of immigrant beauties at his side in every single outing. He even had a “serious” relationship with a russian stewardess only to let her go when she did not manage to situate his native village in the map. You see, despite his outgoing personality and transparent open mindedness, Khalil is adamant in not raising his future kids away from the Lebanese culture and heritage. Who in his right mind can imagine restricting future offsprings the joys of a home made tabbouleh and hummus? Can you??

I have heard so many girls talking to me about chatting online with a certain X,Y or Z living in Dubai, Abu Dhabi or Saudi Arabia. Where have they met? Well of course on Facebook you dumb asses! Oh no do not worry at all, they have 15-20 friends in common so in a way he is okay. If these were the characteristics to pass a man for dating material (which of course in the girl’s mind leads within two three chatting session to marriage material) then I must be doing something wrong all those years.

My friends have been chatting with the likes of Khalil. The latter has grown to become a full fledged man with a new set of goals. During their long hour chatting sessions comes out a sensitive, respectable lost soul in search for his better half, his soulmate. Facebook messenger paves the way for an exchange of phone numbers because lets face it Whatsapp interaction is much more intimate and romantic! Night chats turn into an all day long exchange of silly anecdotes and keeping up tabs on each other’s routine. What better way to get to know your soulmate than to know what he/she is doing during the day? You tell me!

Interesting fact is that for months long feelings have been developed both ways and still no real face to face encounter.

Let us further develop Khalil’s new found personality trait. Upon entering his mid thirties, he came to the realization that his life would not be complete without the establishment of a family. All along his adult life, his mother has been pressing him on the matter with her famous ” Let me see my grandkids before i die” but Khalil was not ready. For crying out loud, he broke up with his girlfriend after a few months from leaving the country. His loyal, caring and understanding girlfriend. His rock. (For those still concerned on the subject matter, the Ex married a few years back and has already two charming children of her own. God bless!). Times have changed, and doing what all expats do best, he started getting in touch with girls from his home country and smoothly gaining their confidence, sparked their interest. Managing only to visit his parents twice a year (on major holidays) I cannot tell you how those cyber exchanging lovebirds got all giddy to finally meet one another in a few week’s time. However, the time came and went. The holiday season started and ended without a glimpse of Khalil. First and foremost it is understandable, priority is give to the family encounter. Second, to the few loyal friends and what unleashed is a nonstop party going, late night staying and morning sleeping days. Sadly, the mean of communication was one phone call upon arrival and a message when already back to work. And most importantly, left behind is a damsel in distress and a real heartbreak based on a digital media relationship.

The likes of Khalil are eventually going to get married, whether a local town girl or someone met in an existing whereabouts. The likes of Khalil are interested in chatting you up for hours and gaining your confidence. However the likes of Khalil will not embark on an internet- based relationship. Everything media related is fake and some people post what they are not and what they would want to be. Put yourself in Khalil’s shoes, especially if he works and lives in the KSA. After long hours of work, surrounded by men only, he will embrace and welcome a ‘womenly’ interaction no matter the setting and time. Yes wake up, his online escapade is only wasting the remaining time before heading to bed. Painful? Rude? I don’t think so. It’s human nature. I mean if I had someone to chat up with right before sleeping after a long day of work I would not pass it up!

One last thought; Why would you even consider being in a relationship with someone you only meet a few times a year ( 2>>3-4) ? Personally, I’d chose some “Real” Him over the “Internet- based” Him.

Just Sayin

Xo

 

Ode to the Male Gender

Warning: The following post may not be to the taste of the general female population in the Middle East. And you know what? I wouldn’t careless. Reality speaks for itself.

First of all, let’s get things straight:

I am not men’s advocate nor do I encourage some of their behavior in a relationship (i-e the cheating and disrespect) with no valid reason.

I have more guy friends than girls because let’s be honest, they aren’t backstabbing bitches and their insights on life are very interesting while their stories hilarious and truthful.

With this said, I want to tackle a subject that I believe has given men an unjust reputation caused by the majority of women in this region.

We constantly hear the same nonstop answer from women’s mouth when asked  by their elderly concerning their single marital status ” there are no more men left in the country”. How many of you have heard this BS matter of fact statement? All of you (and I know you all use it as well..). So in your opinion, the most eligible men have flown outside the country so as to establish their careers and, God forbid, fell in love with a “foreigner” and set to marry in the up-coming months. Right? Furthermore, the rest of the men in the country are useless and only interested in working for a basic minimum salary (that will eventually not last till the end of the month) and spend their stress off in one of  the many night venues of the city. Right?

Well let’s ask the right questions for a change. Have you ever thought why the majority of you have been programmed into this robotic mindset? Have you ever thought that it’s not them but you who has to change so as to switch that “single” status to “in a relationship” one (and if you are lucky and smart to “married”one)? and have you ever thought that while you claim the reason behind your single(ness) is the lack of men in the country, you are disrespecting your male friends as a whole, the same ones you spend time and much fun with on weekends? Yeah I didn’t think so (not much brain left in that newly redone plastic head of yours!).

NEWSFLASH: MEN DO EXIST! 

Those are the men that have not been lucky enough or simply did not find it encouraging and useful to leave their families and businesses behind so as to pursue employment abroad. Those are the men that have come to accept their employment /life situation in this economical crisis and living it up to their potential. Most importantly, those are the men that are trying to put up with your “real men are abroad” myth.

Most of the women,if not 3/4, still live within their parents’ ideology; which is marrying off that good looking eligible bachelor who comes from the same sect-same status spectrum. Adding a running family business to his cv is a must (even if not doing well for the last couple of years-again let’s blame the current economic crisis). When you have such a tight mindset, hiding your head under the sand like an ostrich whenever someone not fitting these golden criteria comes along and dismissing him for its lack, you surely can not be surprised to still be single. I mean waiting for Godot has more chances of happening these days than a change within your marital status. Have you ever thought for a split second; who are you as a person so as to be handed all these perks on a silver plate? There might be a few men out there who are willing to offer you all and much more but they are rare; bare in mind, nothing comes for free (I’ll let you ponder on this last note for a while..).

MEN EXIST.

Review your high and all- mighty standards once again. There are so many ambitious men out there who are making a life and pursuing their dreams. Who have set new businesses, which like any, start small, expand and become successful. These ambitious men have come a long way and are doing what makes them happy. They are rewarded on many important levels (than $$$) and can proclaim self gratification (with or without your approval). 

Ambition, persistence and hard work are traits that are much more appealing to me than titles and job descriptions that are good in writing and dreadful in implementing. A man who is fulfilled in his work (employment or not) is much more appealing to a household than an exhausted 9-5 workaholic who will only bring nag and worries to the table.

Lower your expectations. Be humble. Be realistic. Wake up. 20th century alert!

A relationship whether on paper or not, is the consensus of two people trying to build a successful ever lasting union based on harmony, mutual agreement and most importantly, happiness.

And on that, I want to end this with a note from Maya Angelou’s famous quotes

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude”.

p.s: and if you are looking for your potential soulmate in the wrong places and within the wrong crowd, please refrain from bashing the rest of this gender.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Good Luck!

Xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

“These Hoes aint Loyal…”

Disclaimer: The hook- up culture, by definition, is when ” one accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters as well as casual sexual relationships, one- night stands and other related activities focusing on physical pleasure without necessarily including emotional bonding or long- term commitment.” (Wikipedia).

 

Women these days are independent, stylish, opinionated and successful entrepreneurs. However, one thing most of them have in common is their relationship status: Single. Singlehood is not a very bad thing especially for those who are focusing on establishing themselves in the 21st century. We all know how life can be hard at times and all those stones thrown at our path are challenging more than ever. However, what we really are witnessing is the adoption of the hook-up culture by our male suitors leading to an increase of single women around us.

Why are men more comfortable in going out and spending their time with different women every time? Have you ever seen your guy friend strolling at the party with the same girl two weekends in a row? And if you have, well you will automatically think that they are screwing around with no strings attached since he would not admit that he is in a monogamous relationship.

How many of you out there have heard from your guy friends the following exclamations:

“I am not ready for a commitment”

“I am allergic to serious relationships”

“Why stick to one girl when there are half a dozen out there ready to mingle with no string attached?”

“Marriage is not my thing”.

“I do not trust women, they are all materialistic gold- diggers”.

I am not going to waste my time in analyzing the truth behind the “Men are Pigs” statement (which in this context I do not agree). However, I only want to take a moment and linger on the last reason mentioned above:

“Women are materialistic gold- diggers”

I am sorry to say this, but it is the truth. Most of the women that I have come to meet in my adulthood (especially in the Middle- East) have one agenda in mind; marry off that fun, rich, out- going party animal, social “Dan Bilzerian” wanna- be. These are the women who are not ambitious enough to establish themselves in society and rely on a male counterpart to give them a meaning in life. I, honestly, despise these women, as they are brainless, physically all botox-ed and trashy attired for any outings. Men are attracted to these “birds” because they have this “je ne sais quoi” that hooks them up. Predators they are. And to our utter shock the eligible bachelor is in a relationship with the black haired bimbo. Now, what any intelligent woman knows is that such a relationship has an expiration date written all over it. The shocking part is that, instead of dumping the girl, our “prince” is dumped for another richer, far more generous (and stupid) peer. What follows is the refutable statement adopted by men towards relationships and the total embrace of the hook- up culture.

I want to say one thing to the men out there who relate to the prince I talked about a moment ago; you are not pigs, oh no. You are plain and simply stupid. Blind stupid. Your social status, banking account and suits do not make you the person you are. It is the woman walking next to you that makes you or breaks you. If you are satisfied in going out with the gold- diggers out there, please do carry on, but do not come back after your break up all high and mighty generalizing the rest of us to your experience and shutting us out of any relationship. Truthfully speaking we are not fed up from hearing your whining and stereotypes, we are just indifferent to it.

Last but not least, if you listen well to the lyrics of Chris Brown’s song “Loyal” (instead of just going crazy on it in the club) you would clearly hear him say:

Why give a bitch your heart
When she rather have a purse?
Why give a bitch your inch
When she rather have nine?
You know how the game goes….You all about her, and she all about hers….
Good women are out there. The might not be all dolled up from the outside to your taste, but I can assure you that they are going to stick to you through thick and thin. They are going to be there for you through the good times as well as the bad times. Most importantly they are going to be the trophy prize you always dreamt of walking by through life for the right reasons.

Say Bye to the Hook-up culture…..

xo