Small habits that can change your life goals.

 

Today I decided to share with you some habits that I have adopted not too long ago and that have considerably changed my outlook on life. These behavioral changes might have crossed your mind from time to time. You may even have adopted them on the short term, however have you tried on implementing them on the long run?

Well I have and for some time now I have been feeling at ease. Not only because I am religiously abiding by them, nope. But because with it came a sense of peace and acceptance of who I am and where my life is leading me. Such changes led me to re-inspect my life and the person that I am becoming irrelevant of my surroundings’ approval or not. One word of advice; we are the generation that is always blooming compared to our parents’ generation. Hence we should not let past generations keep us from going further.

Now to the subject matter in hand, the following is for you;

Less social media when you are out socially . Focus on the present and not past and future digital content on your phone.

Read Everyday . I am old fashioned and I love reading books. So should you. Reading expands the mind and enriches your vocabulary. Try it. And no, articles on some shady websites are not considered reading material.

Make your health a priority . By eating healthy and working out daily. The world (pollution) has changed and we no longer have the strong immune system our grandparents bragged about. Make time for your health.

Learn from people you admire . And that I say literally. When you are with the person you admire, pay close attention to his/her body language, communication skills and get motivated by that person’s positive push and accomplishments. If he/she succeeded, why can’t you?

Plan your day the night before . What works for me is writing down on a piece of paper next day’s tasks. Ticking them off one by one along the day motivates me to further end the day with everything I set my mind, to be done.

Take action, even when it’s scary . Nothing is scary in life. Being scared is a state of mind. Have faith in your self and bare in mind that you need to work a lot to make it happen in this world.

It is okay to be introvert . You don’t need to always be out there surrounded with people to make a statement. Sometimes it is okay to shy away from your friends. I happen to have a lot of those me, myself and I times and I quite honestly love them. These are the moments that are productive for your inner peaceful self.

Invest your time in the arts . Art, music, dance soothes the eye, the mind and the body. Try once in a while listening to an old record, going to an art exhibit or take some steps with the melody on the record player. Let me know what state of mind you will be afterwards.

You are your number one priority . Not your family nor your friends. You are. Never forget that.

We are already in March within the new year. Last year passed far too quickly. I vouched not to let 2017 pass quicker without putting myself on my top priority list. This behavioral decision might come as a shock to some people who always relied on my compassion and patience. This time round however, my adopted habits are staying on the long run and as an arabic saying goes “eza mich 3ajebkon, balto el ba7er” .

Thank you!

When I met Joudi – The young Syrian refugee in Beirut

I am going to start this post by sharing a status I wrote on Facebook on the 6th of January, and it goes like this

06/01/2017 Where is Humanity?
Today worldwide the Orthodox community is celebrating christmas. Merry Christmas to all my fellow Armenians and Russians (etc…).
I want to take a moment to express my thoughts to what has humanity come to these last few years, especially in the Middle East, and in Lebanon in particular.
First of all I have to admit that I was never one to nurture such feelings before, but recently something in me changed, I was moved.
The Middle East is in turmoil, the Syrian war has had a lot of effect on neighboring countries yes. ISIS has spread and conducted many many horrific crimes in the name of Islam, yes. This led to a deeper schism between communities, yes.
I witnessed a lot of anger and hatred. The latter not being directed to the right source.
Educated people have been accusing one another and generalizing one’s religion to the actions of a specific community, country. I have read horrific hate comments, curses and intolerable words under statuses.
In Lebanon, I have witnessed how people behave towards refugees.
Let’s be blunt and admit that we think we are above everyone and anything that breathes. Thats the Lebanese complex.
However, by no means that permits a human being to curse, trash and make the life of a refugee a living hell.
These people are trying their best to make a living from the hell everyone is putting them through because of their race and nationality. We cannot generalize a nation. We tend to forget that vice is human and not related to a specific nation and religion.
I had a 30 min walk today and in my pockets were the change of 5000 lira. I passed by a woman with two children sitting on the ground and my heart moved, a mere 1000 lira made that small child of 2 smile. The gratitude in the mother’s eyes were enough to make me feel great. Two more refugees, an old man sick on the ground and an old woman with a child accepted the 1000 lira each and smiled back.
I want to stress on the fact that we should stop looking at people as where do they come from? What is their religion? I have heard so many things on Islam. Islam is not my religion. I do not know what it is about, honestly. All I know is that I doubt God’s message is about hatred, wars and Jihad. I am fed up from hearing such and such being said and written in the holy book. Please instead of babbling such obscenities and generalities you have picked up from a close minded older generation, show me a written statement. Because I have come to see people as they are. HUMANS! And as a human, we need to be there to one another and most importantly RESPECT one another.
A few days back I heard a conversation of a newly wed who had decided not to bring a child in this world. A world she has come to despise. Well for one, I do not agree. I SAY bring a child to the world and educate him to love everyone, give him the values that you were brought in, to embrace humanity, hoping that one day we will all unite to make the world a better place.
And stop spreading hatred. Just stop. Because in the end, that says a lot about you as a person than the message you are trying to spread.
Good Friday everyone.”

A few days back I was walking home, listening to my iPod, minding my own business when a young girl approached me. She couldn’t have been more than 13. She was wandering the streets selling Bic. I dismissed her with a sign that I am not interested in what she is selling. Rather than walk away, I asked her “Do you need anything else?”. She asked me if I could get her some water from the neighboring market. How can I say no to a child? We entered the supermarket and she chose a 1L bottle of water. I was moved. She was purchasing the bottle, her family in mind. I asked her if she wanted anything else. She is a child and I am certain that it is not everyday she has the opportunity to choose. Despite the cold weather she said she wanted ice cream. One she would share with her brother. I was moved. I reminded her of the cold breeze. Her voice was plaintive. For a split second, I felt like a mother and caved in. She went to chose from the wide selection of ice creams. When I told her to chose one of the three in the first fridge, she looked at me and said “no, these are expensive, let me get one of those” (+1$). She startled me, “None sense” I answered back and bought her the strawberry flavored one. For her age and her current situation she was aware of the price tags merely by looking at the packaging. It is only while paying that I noticed the people around me looking at us and smiling. They were smiling at this happy little girl. They were happy because this young child was happy. They were grateful. I was happy. Most of all, I was happy because an 11 year old was being her age again. I had given humanity hope. And most importantly, I had given a child hope. We walked back and took a selfie. Her name is Joudi. She is from Syria. We couldn’t talk much as she was excited to go back to her parents with the bottle of water and share the strawberry ice cream with her young brother.

What would it take for you to open your heart to a child in need? What would it take for you not to label people as terrorists because of their religion? What would it take for you to differentiate between the victims of terror & war from the governmental agencies, of those same countries, behind these wars? What would it take for you not to generalize these well brought up children because of a few badly mannered ones?

Stop being selfish and rotten. Stop living on a pedestal you ungrateful whiny adults brats and reach out to those in need.

Be HUMAN!

New Year resolutions? Yes & No and how it all changed for me!!

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With less than a week to go till the New Year, many of us have different kinds of expectations of 2017. Some of us can’t wait to put behind 2016 and move on whereas others are a bit nonchalant and quite frankly dismissive of this whole end of the year fiesta. This is where resolutions come in (with a bang). It is not until a couple of weeks back that I took a look at the passing year and realized that I, Patyl- Astrid, have completed unconsciously many of the New year resolutions of 2014-2015 and 2016 combined in one single year. How did I do that? Did I mean to cross off those jotted points from my diary? (yeah I am one of those- with the diary I mean) What did I feel when I came upon this discovery? To be honest, I was dumb struck! Why? Because as I mentioned it earlier, I did not plan it, nor realized any of it until I was done.

 

Resolutions. Resolutions.

 

If we look closely at each other’s resolutions, we notice that we have more in common than meets the eye. The first thing we all jot down is cutting down on vices and embracing the opposite. Mine, as well as your resolution for the past so many forgotten years has been to start a healthy lifestyle by going to the gym and cutting down on alcohol and junk food. Am I not right? Well to be realistic such drastic change cannot and never has begun over night. It takes patience, a lot of it, and most importantly acceptance that this is what we are going to dedicate to become within the upcoming year. And how many of us failed at it within a couple of months of the New year? The reason? We are so determined to jump on the gym bandwagon for the sole purpose that we started to get nauseated by the end of the year back to back parties and dinners. We think solely on the spot by letting our momentary feeling take the best of our decision- making. Once we heal (for some by the end of January) we get back to our drinking /night out splurges.

A shout out to the single ladies out there as well as those spoken for, don’t we all just want to be in that secure ‘the one’ kind of relationship and tie the knot? Come on, I know that you dream of your wedding day and those who are tying the knot during the holidays are not helping with their Instagram postings. One of the resolutions I have witnessed many to vow by in the next year is falling in love with ‘the one’ and settling down. Seriously? I did not know that there was a timeline set for such thing. Now if you are already with ‘the one’ then maybe you are stating on taking the next step and getting engaged. Now, even that you can’t just pinpoint it on paper. It is something that both parties have already agreed on prior (whether you are going to wait a couple of years before getting married) or happens on a sudden whim from the boyfriend/the one, one night at dinner or after implementing an orchestrated adventure for two. Both cases, ladies you are not in charge of the emotional side of things. Your heart controls you. Single ladies you can’t force yourselves to fall in love and girlfriends you can’t impose your other half to take the next step if he is not ready yet. Hence, do enter the new year on good foot. Embrace your future day by day. Do not jump big leaps and fall into oblivion. Those single hearts out there are going to be full of love when the time, I mean, the right person comes along.

 

Resolutions. Resolutions.

 

I am not trying to turn you against your New Year resolutions. I know too well how exciting it is to imagine oneself in the near future as a near perfected woman. The New Year brings out an emotional roller coaster within us. A strength, a determination that, we only witness in the month of December. You know what I am talking about, right?

I want to tell you ladies that writing down open- ended generalities as New Year resolutions will only bring you down when they are not fulfilled. Why don’t you jot down your resolutions into a step by step goals? Why not embrace the fact that much of your goals are set to become part of your lifestyle than just a box to tick off once you have accomplished it.

By summer 2016, I stopped smoking. An accomplishment by itself because it was one of the many vices that I did not intend to quit, even though I repeatedly written it as a New Year resolution. I don’t even think about it nor crave it till present day. How did I do it? Well I unconsciously started smoking less. A pack a day turned into ten cigarettes a day and so on so forth.

Moreover, being in a relationship with my boyfriend of more than a year, I know we are meant to be together (forever) by tying the knot someday soon yet not having a date in mind does not make me want to go write down 3/3/2017, right? I want to remind you that I have been single for many years prior just like yourself (and at times with the wrong type of men), and I did intend on finding my one the upcoming year. However what I realized when I met my boyfriend was that I can’t put a ticking time bomb on my heart. He came un-expectantly into my life (way after I had given up on that aspect of my life) and I do not intend on losing him because of some time set goal.

My career is up till this day in shambles and I am not worried about it. I am carrying on with my artistic projects and I am not setting unimaginable goals. My goal for my art is near attainable than my grandiose dream ever was (for now of course, remember being passionate should not set you limits).

I took control of my life summer 2016 and from than onwards everything seems to fall into place. When you are at peace with yourself and from within, you can set your mind to do almost anything. Everything is possible from then onwards. Hence my accomplishments step by step. I know you will all reach that point one day, hopefully sooner than you think. Just don’t go writing down general predictions on your to-do-list only to be disappointed flash forward six months within 2017.

Exes; those that cant be tamed.

disclaimer: Remember that ex you couldn’t live without? Well look at you, living and shit!!

Ex, is a word we are all too familiar with because, yeah, we all have a minimum of one in our drawer (if you don’t have an ex, then girl, have you been living under a rock?). Kitchen Drawer? Closet? Cabinet? Hell any restrained rectangular shaped space would do, as long as it doesn’t open by mistake (that cabinet holding all those old tupperware would do). So within these space you would toss an ex or two and try never to slide the door open, and if, God forbid, those damn sized tups’ burst the door open, shut it back firmly and tightly. You do not need an old junk when you have collected new gadgets in the cabinet next door. Why am I comparing exes to in-animated object? Well do I need to remind you what they talk behind our back to their home boys? Guess not, so tups they shall remain. And between us, sometimes they do deserve that adjective…

So I am writing about this topic because as a woman I relate to those who are weak when their ex tries to catch up with them out of the blue on a Tuesday afternoon, season being winter at best (you know in winter everyone is relatively in a hibernating mode and seeks his selfish comfort). I am reaching out to those women who are in doubt of themselves when an ex pops back in the picture. I am reaching to the women who I am warning not to cave back in. I admit and its human nature, I caved in and so did you. And we most probably learnt our lesson I know I did. 110%.

A decade ago we would have given our bone marrow to our partner. A decade ago, we were ready to be tied down and faithful to his (sorry) ass. We were patient and caring to his mood swings and depressive state of mind. We were taking care of his every whim. We put our 200% into the relationship only to be given the boot because he was not ready to settle down. Picket fences and all that shebang. We grabbed our hearts in our own hands, a few teardrops here and there for a couple of weeks and we moved on. Apparently, men (boys, to be more precise) do not move on as easily as we thought they did. When he came back, we gave him the benefit of doubt and rekindled the relation. Only to have the same problems resurface and ended with another break up in our hands. Not the fairy tale wedding we were imagining, nope. Flash forward ten years, give or take, and you have EX trying to infiltrate your life again. Apparently you turned out to be the one who actually did M.O.V.E  O.N. and you’re happy and you know it (clap your hands!!!). Ok, sorry I’m being too merry about this, I just felt like tuning, its the season to be jolly, lalalala you know!! (ok apparently you don’t, i’ll stop).

When a person becomes an EX, that word not just labels him, it defines the boundaries and sets the tone for any further relationship. An EX is a person that was once close to your heart. A person you shared everything with baring in mind of a possible future together. However, the WE became EX and your roads diverged. For the better, trust me. When an ex pops back and tries to cave you back in, try not to remember the good things. Remember the bad things. Remember why things never worked out. Remember the tears. Remember the broken promises. Remember the lies. Remember the drama. Do not set yourself good enough for the promises. Do not be content with his just words. Do not fall for the petty act. Do not fall again because of your pure heart. Do not fall because you think that he is the only one out there for you. Do not fall for the comfort of the relationship. Do not fall back into his comfort zone. Do not fall back because you are scared of any future uncertainties. Do not fall back into his arms because of the society’s pressure. NO!! You deserve better. No. You deserve the best. And the best is not hidden in that EX. It is hidden in your future. And that kind of future awaits you. That kind of Love is out there. Do not settle for less. Trust me (again).

There is a french saying that goes like this “Chasse le Naturel, Il retourne au galop” (shoo away human nature, it comes back naturally)and that is what happens slowly yet surely.

Now let’s toast to those who put their clingy exes in the in-animated tupperware closet and drink a couple of bubbly to the every woman in us!

Chin (up) chin (up)!

xo

 

 

New you? NewME!

http://www.newme.ae

You all were used to GarlikandSapphires and my rants on everything Lebanese. Well for those who enjoyed my honest opinions and direct accusations, less will they be thrilled to know that I have moved on (literally) from the negativity and started fresh away, in a far away land (see previous post). Let me be brief, if you want to know what this whole reshaped blog will be all about, just click on my “About Moi”at the top right of the page and discover me.

Now let’s get back to the main topic in hand.

For a while now, I have been witnessing a change in attitude, as well as career path among my expat friends, and one that has truly caught my attention was my dear friend, Yasmina AliHassan’s transformation. You see, Yasmina is a very bubbly, full of life, straight to the point kinda girl, my kinda girl. She travelled to Dubai a decade ago and settled with a job and created herself an entourage with like minded group of friends. That was a very bold move for Yasmina and yet she did it. That’s Yasmina.

Recently, I discovered that she quit her job and ventured in entrepreneurship. She became her own boss, #laladyboss, as she describes herself in on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/la_yasminaa/). I was intrigued as I am skeptical as to when Lebanese venture in opening their own businesses, especially women and their never- ending love affaire with fashion and #becomingtheITfashionista.

Yasmina took a completely different path. A path of self growth. A path of establishing communication and most importantly in reaching out to others by spreading her knowledge and helping in their self growth. Life Coaching and particularly, The NLP approach.

Neuro- Linguistic Programming is an approach to communication, personal development and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California in the 1970s. The latter claim a connection between the neuro-logical processes, language and behavioral patterns learned through experience and that these can be changed to achieve specific goals in life.

Ok, honestly, I was perplexed at the second part of this definition and friends that know me, would know that I am not attracted to this new era life coaching trend. But I was curious and clicked on the video posted by my friend. And for 5 whole minutes I was mesmerized by the content of what I was hearing. My friend surely knew how to deliver her message. Unconsciously I found myself clicking on the website and read all about her new endeavor.

NewMe.ae is the fruit of David Sorreluz and Yasmina AliHassan’s passion. Both, young adults passionate about Health and Self- Improvement. While David offers personal training, Yasmina helps with your inner growth. Both combined, I cannot imagine the result for any person seeking for change.

As mentioned on David’s FB intro, NewME = A Game Changer! and the Co-founder’s words  couldn’t be clearer about their venture:

Being a member of NewMe will naturally be beyond beneficial to you because you will be going through an amazing experience while transforming your body and expanding your mind, your thoughts, learning more about yourselves, your partners and your surroundings.
The more results you are going to see, the better the experience is going to be.
After 13 sessions, you will be aware of the great distance you have taken from your old self and you are going to realize the full potential of your NewMe.”  

Testimonials on their website prove the above mentioned words >(http://www.newme.ae) and check their FB page (https://www.facebook.com/newme.ae/ ).

I encourage anyone interested to click on the website link above and immerse yourselves in NewMe.

Yasmina I wish you all the best. I will be back for some more and maybe for some online life-coaching, why not! In the meantime awaiting for your weekly videos.

Happy Sunday

xo