What is a best friend? Do we need one in our life? How does one become another’s best friend? Are there guidelines? Actions & behaviors to cross off before becoming one officially?
I have had best friends all throughout the different stages of my life. As you all know, we grow up, circumstances change, location even, hence new friendships formed and best friends born out of. However I have learnt through my experiences that the notion of a best friend is over rated and I have decided not to have one. Seriously, why should I favorite one person, if not two, out of the people that happen to be part of my life? Is it because I am in contact with that specific person more than the others? Or because some unfortunate event drew us close to one another? Experience taught me not to confide into anyone if not related by blood.
Regardless of the reason, I do not believe that one person should be held on a pedestal.
When you know you have to call it quits:
- Not receiving the same amount of attention, emotion, care and respect. I noticed that I have been far more reaching to my best friend’s distress and call of help that I did not realize the lack of reciprocity. Much energy was drained from my person that I stopped altogether looking forward for casual meetings. We all need love and care. Even a therapist sees a therapist.
- The physical distance which was there for years started having an impact on the relationship. Less texts, less social media contact, and non existent phone calls paved way to us drifting away. Even when in the same city, keeping in touch seemed less frequent. Mind you, it takes two to tango.
- Every person is broken, that is why we seek refuge into another human being. To feel whole again. But when unexpected situations and actions further cut your wounds deeply, you set some boundaries, build a wall and distance yourself.
- We grow up. We change. Friendship changes. It is not supposed to stand the test of time. Circumstances leads to different mindset, different approach and different, sometime contradictory, behaviors. However, if you ask me, the worse slap in the face is when one matures whereas the other one is still stuck in a rut, a mindset of his own.
You changed? Life happened. If you are not feeling loved and you are not happy with the current situation, then stop fighting for that friendship. Cherish the memories. Call it quits. Trust me you have gained and not lost.
Can I untag myself from being your Best of Friend? Thank you!