Usually this is how it all starts;
- how old are you? (no way!!! you don’t look like a 30+)
- are you seeing someone?
- why?? a pretty girl like you….
- i know this guy, he is a banker, lives in Dubai………..
and the list goes on and on and on. No I am not interested in a Lebanese expat, living the Hollywoodesque life in Dubai yet looking for a bride to settle down and take care of him. Thank you, I know I am beautiful and in lack of nothing (7amdellah!) and I might be dating (which is none of your business) yet haven’t reached the point to be serious with him so as to jump on the bridal gown and hysterically walk down the aisle.
Marriage is over rated, especially in Lebanon. Many of my girlfriends have tied the knot but I can assure you none of them are genuinely happy. My Boy friends? Well they have tied the knot, however after a few years (especially after baby one popped) started acting and parading like reborn singles. Single? officially not! In disguise, yes!
I was inspired in writing this piece, not because I don’t want to get married. No, no, I am going to tie the knot. I am writing this piece after I have received for the third time a Facebook message from an old friend, married with a baby girl, asking about my wellbeing. You see this friend married 5 years ago and like any Lebanese- married boy (no men here), scared that his wife would get jealous from his FB girl friends (while they claim they are respecting their women’s feelings) deleted me, among many, from his friends list. Two years later he sent me a message asking about my whereabouts and everything bullshit related. Fast forward +2 years he sent me a message declaring his crush and the fact that his feelings are in no way related to the fact that he is married. That was when I cut the conversation. Flash Flash forward to the weekend and I get a “hi”. Delete, block!
In short, the following are the ten reasons why I still haven’t tied the knot;
- I don’t believe there is a clock ticking somewhere for the institution of marriage regardless the emotional blackmail parents (add the grandparents) chant about seeing your new born in their arms.
- Because I don’t believe that anyone can jump the marriage bandwagon only after 6 months of dating; what do you really know about your “other half” within a few months. I call that the honey moon phase, what do you?
- I have always played around in my head the “living together” situation. Well we are in the Middle East I know, but we are surely adopting every single Western lifestyle in our culture, what’s with adding this concept to the list?
- Divorce is rising by the hour and cheating by the minute.
- I do not believe that any written document, whether blessed by God or not, is going to acknowledge my never ending love and blissful happy forever with the man I will spend the rest of my life with.
- Some men and women change once they have tied the knot. Real persona comes out, and I am not ready into jumping heads on into an unknown path before being 100% sure of my man.
- Because I will not live with someone without mastering and accepting his imperfections fully.
- Because I am strong and happy by myself for the time being
- Because I am still worried of the whole marriage concept than the wedding date, dress and table seatings.
- Because I believe that a couple should have some space when together (taking into consideration here that Middle eastern men are jealous by nature, and the women, mistrustful).
- Because I believe in Love and I am not settling down for anyone’s comfort and social acceptance.
- And because when I will tie the knot, trust me, its going to be as discreetly as ever. You will all get notified through social media, Instagram anyone?
And this is where I shall leave you pondering on the pros and cons of the Lebanese over rated notion of “marriage”.