Girl Friends; The Lebanese Clique.

Disclaimer: Girls put your pride aside while reading the following post. Anger/ bashing is not the solution. Namaste people. Namaste!

One of the most challenging aspect in this society, for survival purposes mainly, is to gather and maintain genuine friends around you. Add to that challenge, friends from the female gender. I know I am sorry I feel like I am asking you a lot to digest this morning. However, it is the sad truth.

Girlfriends are rare. We all have one or two best friends. Tackling more is just asking for too much (drama). For those who are not concerned and are happy with their surrounding then you are blessed and hopefully you will maintain your social circle close to your heart (and home). For the other ratio out there, lets stick together and shed some light on the subject while the first group sits and reads.

Most of the time, girlfriends are wired to be jealous from one another. I don’t know but I feel like its something that has been inserted in the embryo by the previous generation for generations to come. Its some sort of a Middle Eastern kinda thing. Rare are the girls that stick with one another through thick and thin. Rarer are the ones that genuinely care for your happiness and success in life.

I have noticed that in Lebanon, you have two types of groups of (girl)friends:

The first group is only made of women sharing one goal in common: getting hitched. Those are the ones that gather socially more than your average time per week. Whether its for lunch, dinner or some girls night out, their only interest is the latest photo editing apps, fashion statements and what trend to follow and buy. Shopping is a must (weekly). The latest gym technic a fad to try (and quit after a month).  Group photos are impeccable since being your best in public is your only tool to seal the man of your dream (whether he is married or not). If you look closely at their group pics you realize that they almost look alike; same hair color, length and style. Same eyebrows and smile. And the must branded hand bag perched on their hand + the huge sunglasses used as head bands. A certain feeling emanates from this kind of clique. I personally do not believe that these women are genuine 100% with one another. Since their goal is to land prince charming, jealousy, gossip and backstabbing takes its toll behind closed doors between one or two from the same group (and behind each other’s back). Note: these women do not work nor do they intend to in the future, baring in mind that a housewife is an already established job.

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The second group are working women. Their motto; Women should not compete with one another but uplift each other. They are ambitious and believe in empowerment. Whether they hold a job or not, their main focus is contributing to the society they live in with more than a selfie or two. They are cultured, active and have seen the world (not just the shops worldwide).They brought back the lessons learnt from their trips and integrated it to their daily life. They are confident and their presence socially is marked by their surrounding. Whether they have a man in their life or not, does not define who they are and especially does not stop them from reaching their goals one step at a time. Their social life is enriched not by posting pictures on social media and tagging them with motivational quotes but by collaborating and exchanging ideas and plans. But of course they do post pictures on social media, they aren’t pariah (undesirable). A night out with one another enriches ones mind and soul.

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Girlfriends, girlfriends….

Last year, I was living in London, met and made a lot of interesting friends. I was surprised that abroad, women do empower one another more than our society. We all shared one passion, the Arts, and were looking for a job that would let us live the London dream. Surprisingly, whenever someone heard of a job opening, she would alert the other students and encourage them to apply. More than one friend helped me to edit my CV. In Lebanon, you guessed it, competition does not permit for friends to be helpful and nice towards one another, especially in the workforce (I will let you imagine what it does to when competing for a love interest!).

I am happy that I set my priorities straight and surrounded myself with empowering and caring women.

I believe that women empowerment is fulfilling and more rewarding. However if you chose to be part of the hypocritical bitches out there, please get your silicon- ed presence away from me.

Thank you.

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Author: Patyl-Astrid

"Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the common place, the slaves of the ordinary." Cecile Beaton

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