Disclaimer: I am writing to you this post baring in mind that I am not generalizing the male gender, yet we can all agree that more than half of them behave one way or another.
First of all, I want to clarify that I can not be more than happy when an old flame, an ex-boyfriend or a crush finds his soul mate and commits to a serious relationship with her. Truly, I am happy for him. I believe that if we were meant to be, we would’ve worked out at some point over time, but we did not and someone is out there to become my life long partner.
In our lifetime, we have come to accept that the normal path to take is to be in a monogamous relationship, that eventually will lead to marriage and the beginning of a family with one or more offspring. Totally normal, right? right!
I believe that any relationship should be, foremost, based on mutual trust and honest communication between both parties. Of course, what first attracted these two people is physicality. We are humans and what is appealing interests us. One conversation, or one date, can set the beginning or the halt of a future relationship. That feeling of Love develops. A beautiful thing to experience I am said. My tone may reflect that I have not experienced love and I thought I had but it is lately that I have come to term that I did not fully live that emotion maturely. Most married couple will assure me that love fades away after the years. I can not agree nor disagree with that statement since I have not been married yet but I will have to shed a light on the roots of such statement.
I have witnessed that many of the married couple (and those is a serious relationship for more that two years) grow apart after sometime. They take their situation for granted and let themselves go. They do not put the same amount of effort they used to when at the start of their relationship and blame one another for any differences. Compromise is no longer part of their vocabulary. How did that simple important fact disappear in thin air? What ensues is the lingering eyes of men towards the rest of the single female population.
Social media interaction has and still plays an important part in pursuing a love interest outside the confines of a steady relationship. A simple hello from a past love triggers question marks. I am sure you agree with me when I say that a re-connection from ‘in a relationship’ men is not as innocent as they try to portray. In my opinion, it is best to cut short this sudden caring concern catch- up session as early as detected. Personally, I feel sorry for that person’s girlfriend and thank God I am not in her shoes. Married men behaving this way ( whether he is my friend or not) just disgust me. An ex- boyfriend you ask me? Well I am grateful not to have been legally bound to him.
Men, if you are not happy in your current situation, which you are not since you are taking the time and effort to establish a connection with the rest of us, one solution comes to my mind; switch to single hood. That way, you are not being the hypocrite you are towards your other half and mostly to yourself. As for those who are bound by marriage, I would direct your attention to the many ‘hoes’ out there that are gladly happy to welcome you in their lives (and beds) with no question asked.
Most of the single women I know have not completely given up on love and marriage. And all of them respect themselves so as not to be entangled in a triangular love nest. Now there are surely those who take upon themselves a challenge to snatch you away from your woman but I won’t get into that debacle. If you find yourself suddenly in love and cannot go on without that person in your life than better break off your current situation for the new one. Girls whoever, do not forget one important fact; Once a cheater, always a cheater!
Ideally speaking it is a known fact that most of the successful relationships’ root is an established friendship. I am not saying that everyone should marry off his/ her best friend but one should ponder on the fact that ‘we were friends who developed mutual feelings outside our capacity’.
How many of you can assuringly tell me that you would blindly commit to your other half and make things work?
Many of us, single women, do not linger on our past relationships because we know that we were not fully happy and ready to commit to that person for the rest of our lives. Yes I said it once more. Those failed relationships made us the person we are today and paved the way to know what we want in life and from our future partner and most importantly how to handle a given situation.
I know that ‘I would bleed my self dry’ (Coldplay- Yellow) for my man and he would do the same to me.