2014 in review…2015 More to come with a Bigger Bang!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,200 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 37 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Khalil; the Gigolo Expat

It is a known fact that most of our men immigrate to neighboring arab countries so as to establish their career and hence build their future. A concept that is not available to many due to the country’s economic depression, low income and restrained opportunities in many field of studies.

Khalil finished his studies in one of the top universities of the city and after enjoying his long summer vacations partying, he travelled to the GCC to build himself from scratch promising his parents and then girlfriend to come back in a few years time to established himself in his mother country; a better man and successful entrepreneur. Traveling to the unknown with confidence, he left behind proud parents and a doubtful, heart broken flame who took the path of the many in the line of long distance relationships.

Khalil is your mid 30 year old ambitious and clever lebanese expat. His charm and intelligence made him one of the few established successful immigrant these last ten years in his hosting country. Single, he long ago realized that a long distance relationship would only setback his career and let us face it, he is caring enough not to leave his then girlfriend waiting for the promised few years+ in vain. His parents are understanding and could not have found a better situation so as to brag about their only son’s exaggerated accomplishments. Its a win-win situation for all (except the ex girlfriend, we understand your frustration!).

Khalil has it all. The career, the money, the fame and most importantly the flock of immigrant beauties at his side in every single outing. He even had a “serious” relationship with a russian stewardess only to let her go when she did not manage to situate his native village in the map. You see, despite his outgoing personality and transparent open mindedness, Khalil is adamant in not raising his future kids away from the Lebanese culture and heritage. Who in his right mind can imagine restricting future offsprings the joys of a home made tabbouleh and hummus? Can you??

I have heard so many girls talking to me about chatting online with a certain X,Y or Z living in Dubai, Abu Dhabi or Saudi Arabia. Where have they met? Well of course on Facebook you dumb asses! Oh no do not worry at all, they have 15-20 friends in common so in a way he is okay. If these were the characteristics to pass a man for dating material (which of course in the girl’s mind leads within two three chatting session to marriage material) then I must be doing something wrong all those years.

My friends have been chatting with the likes of Khalil. The latter has grown to become a full fledged man with a new set of goals. During their long hour chatting sessions comes out a sensitive, respectable lost soul in search for his better half, his soulmate. Facebook messenger paves the way for an exchange of phone numbers because lets face it Whatsapp interaction is much more intimate and romantic! Night chats turn into an all day long exchange of silly anecdotes and keeping up tabs on each other’s routine. What better way to get to know your soulmate than to know what he/she is doing during the day? You tell me!

Interesting fact is that for months long feelings have been developed both ways and still no real face to face encounter.

Let us further develop Khalil’s new found personality trait. Upon entering his mid thirties, he came to the realization that his life would not be complete without the establishment of a family. All along his adult life, his mother has been pressing him on the matter with her famous ” Let me see my grandkids before i die” but Khalil was not ready. For crying out loud, he broke up with his girlfriend after a few months from leaving the country. His loyal, caring and understanding girlfriend. His rock. (For those still concerned on the subject matter, the Ex married a few years back and has already two charming children of her own. God bless!). Times have changed, and doing what all expats do best, he started getting in touch with girls from his home country and smoothly gaining their confidence, sparked their interest. Managing only to visit his parents twice a year (on major holidays) I cannot tell you how those cyber exchanging lovebirds got all giddy to finally meet one another in a few week’s time. However, the time came and went. The holiday season started and ended without a glimpse of Khalil. First and foremost it is understandable, priority is give to the family encounter. Second, to the few loyal friends and what unleashed is a nonstop party going, late night staying and morning sleeping days. Sadly, the mean of communication was one phone call upon arrival and a message when already back to work. And most importantly, left behind is a damsel in distress and a real heartbreak based on a digital media relationship.

The likes of Khalil are eventually going to get married, whether a local town girl or someone met in an existing whereabouts. The likes of Khalil are interested in chatting you up for hours and gaining your confidence. However the likes of Khalil will not embark on an internet- based relationship. Everything media related is fake and some people post what they are not and what they would want to be. Put yourself in Khalil’s shoes, especially if he works and lives in the KSA. After long hours of work, surrounded by men only, he will embrace and welcome a ‘womenly’ interaction no matter the setting and time. Yes wake up, his online escapade is only wasting the remaining time before heading to bed. Painful? Rude? I don’t think so. It’s human nature. I mean if I had someone to chat up with right before sleeping after a long day of work I would not pass it up!

One last thought; Why would you even consider being in a relationship with someone you only meet a few times a year ( 2>>3-4) ? Personally, I’d chose some “Real” Him over the “Internet- based” Him.

Just Sayin

Xo

 

Kareem; our Lebanese Dan Bilzerian

 

I am sure that all of you have heard of this sensational phenomena that has taken the United States (and then the social media) by storm. No No! It is not Kim Kardashian (although I have to say they do share a few common traits, among which they are both of Armenian descendant and thankfully Made in America!!). It is her male counter part, Dan Bilzerian. I do not need to go into details about this man as I am sure that most of you, if not all, have already stumbled upon his Instagram account (in case you have not just search for him and enjoy yourselves). In a word, Mr Bilzerian represents everything that is wrong in a man and un-appealing to a woman’s happily ever after; he is a player, a womanizer and a chauvinist. His world revolves around Sex, Guns and more sex and more guns. His mere presence online promoting excess and “debaucherie” (excuse my french) followed by 6.1M , creates copycat wanna- be(s) worldwide, starting with the likes of Kareem.

Kareem is your 30- somthing year old Lebanese “cliche”. Single and out- going, he is very much the fantasy of any materialistic, un-ambitious, typical Lebanese bimbo. It goes without saying that Kareem is an entrepreneur, a man of good quality; his “own business” is never in need of his physical presence and one never quite got around what he really does exactly. But who cares? Kareem is charming and a catch!

To better understand Kareem, the following are a few of the traits he shares boastfully with you:

– Single and always mingling

– Blonds, brunettes, redheads… he does not care as long as the trophy girlfriend (but most of the time, the one night stand) is drop dead gorgeous and the object of envy of his male friends (which unfortunately next week will be in the arms of one of the friends mentioned)

– Always present in the night life scene; you will find him in the VIP section of course surrounded by waiters loading trays of shots and champagne. Female ratio out numbers its other half by 8/10 baring in mind that beauty and all bored and pouty is the minimum requirements for entrance.

– Drives the latest SUV or porsche with a 4 digit license plate number. If lucky, he has a car for the two important seasons of the year (of course one must always have a sports car just in case….)

– The summer season is a nonstop party extravaganza. Reservation at the pool (+jacuzzi) is a requirement to end the tiring week at work (we still have no clue of his main occupation!!)

– His social media reflects his whereabouts and lifestyle

– He takes one two many vacation trips abroad to cool down his crazy lifestyle (only to import the same on foreign soil)

– Hold two phones; one for leisure and one strictly for business (I do not need to emphasize on this, you got my point by now)

– Marriage? who needs to settle down and tie the knot with one woman. Fish (chicks precisely) come in abundance in this world, you have many shapes and colors to gaze at, pick from and toss back at sea.

– Guns are his favorite toys to play and screening live the story of Boardwalk Empire his achievement in foreplay

I am sure that the list can go on and on and on however these are the main traits that came up as I was writing this piece.

The difference between Dan. B and Kareem is that the former has more than 100M in his bank account whereas the latter has saved merely a 100K. Dan. B is a worldwide known loser whereas Kareem is building his reputation locally and in the neighboring countries (except if you want to include Eastern Europe’s vacationing hubs). Furthermore, Dan.B is payed to promote clubs, products and an open sexual lifestyle, whereas our Kareem pays his way into clubs and his womens’ skirts. However, the only important and common trait between these two is an undeniable absurd lifestyle.

Kareem. Get a Life!!!!