Morgane; the banker from hell.

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Disclaimer: This post should have been written a long while ago yet was delayed many times for many reasons. It is high time to put in writing the story of the majority of managers in the workplace (in general) and that of the banker from hell (in specific). Many of you out there,employees, are going to relate to the situations and circumstances surrounding the relationship between yourselves and your boss. Enjoy the read!

 

Since I was a little girl, I hated entering two places; the hospital and the bank. As I grew older, I noticed that it was imminent for me to go to the bank for financial transactions, yet my journey in that over crowded space took minimal time as I felt claustrophobic within those bare walls. My father’s dream job for his graduate daughter was a banking position (as in this old middle eastern mentality you are either a banker or nothing to succeed professionally..) This escalated my hatred further and I promised myself to never end up in a bank.

But you guessed it right, Never say Never!

The reasons that landed me a job in a bank were not your normal ones; I mean I only wanted to work since I was desperate to free myself from the boredom i was waking up to everyday. Back in those days I had not realized that my passion lied in the art world and writing, so I lowered my ego and entered a respectable establishment and learnt the hard way the perks of being an employee between stuck up hypocritical people.

Working in a bank has two setbacks a person has to take into consideration before applying. You have to take shit from your clients and your boss. Both come in different forms, mentalities, demands and unimaginable complaints, that you have to satisfy and bow to. Take a moment and imagine yourself being sandwiched between the two…

When they ask me “What is the worst career/ institution in the workplace?” I answer without flinching: The Bank!

A little parentheses before I continue has to be said. I give credit to this institution in the following; working in a bank taught me the value of money, the world of transactions and investments and last but not least the reality behind being indebted so as to survive in our society. I thank you for this enlightening journey, however the setbacks overcome this academic implementation.

Working in a branch strengthened my social skills. Every day was eventful as I was being introduced to people from a very different background and social class than mine. I felt with their requests and complaints but hearing the same song everyday of the week was unbearable at some point. Came a point a few times where I felt like yelling at the scrooges that the money gathered in the account will not be buried in the grave and taken with to an after-life. But the worse kind of people were the ones who flirted for attention every time they entered by the revolving doors. Single, married, they would not care about their relationship status as long as they tried their chance. Those disgusted me the most. But hey if you are looking for your long time partner, please do proceed in working in a branch. Beware from the psychos. Mine came and got a restraining order on his file. Stamped and gone from my sight for good!

Let us proceed…

Many people, outsiders and insiders alike, believe that working in the main headquarter of an institution is prestigious. However I want to remind you of one thing, it is not the place as much as it is the people you are interacting with that makes up the prestige and whatever fantasy qualification you want to give it. A few years back I was not the person that I am. Experiences throughout the years made me the strong and direct person that I am. Today I do not permit anyone to talk bullshit within an earshot of my presence, I do not take crap from anyone, especially a person that I know I am way better above from in every unimaginable way. You can, then, imagine what kind of a person I was back then. Yes the opposite indeed, which led for a few people to take advantage and set and succeed in implementing their agenda.

As anti- social as this may sound to you (though not) I do not befriend people quickly nor easily. I have my standards and I always believe that quality over- compensates quantity especially in this society. Furthermore, a friend of mine once gave me an advice which I carry it till this day; never befriend a fat (obese) girl friend. As shallow as this may sound (and please do not start with your discrimination mambo- jumbo) I gave her credit as I realized that most of these people, struggling with weight problems and yet binge eating continuously, are jealous and with a low self confidence that is taken out on the rest of us. Life taught me to stay away from them but what can you do when you are obliged to interact with one daily?

Managers in high positions come with a a reputation. They have the high qualifications and most importantly the attitude that goes with the job title/position. I admit that for many of them, it is important to have a firm and strict position vis- a -vis their employees as long as it is conducted with respect and recognition. Many of those managers are feared yet loved and looked up on. These are the traits that I found in a couple of people my job permitted me to interact with. The rest? Well the banker from hell best describes the ugly truth of this facade.

To be a bitch from hell, one should have either two of the following traits;

-sois belle et tais toi (be  beautiful and shut up!)

-be a snob with a reason (either being rich or drop- dead gorgeous and wanted by men).

The banker from hell, in generally, does not have any of these traits. On the contrary, God has not bestowed on an appealing physique and, my my, the attitude is worse. You would think that one thing would over compensate the other, but no it does not in this situation. This bitch is ugly inside out and a conniving schemer. When you think about it, a highly self- confident and sociable person, with a life outside the workplace, does not waste time analyzing other’s wardrobe and personal life. Jealousy, envy and un-necessary snobbish behavior are the ugly traits of such people. When I studying for my MBA, my teacher was explaining to us that there are two kinds of groups in any workplace; the insiders and the outsiders. To succeed in any job, an outsider had to please one of the insiders. Its ‘Mean Girls” all over again except that the setting is in the real world, among adults. Well come to think of it, those insiders were really the outsiders back in high school. The change of scenery and the circumstances paved the way to their revenge and establishment of their confidence through immature behaviors (for their age!!).

Here are some of the traits of the banker from hell:

-Surround yourself with “MINIONS” and play the high school dramatic screenplay of “Mean Girls” so as to compensate your previous lack of social circle (not that you are doing any good after all those years!).

-Travel twice and thrice a year to a remote posh city and make sure to shout it out from the rooftops. Yes we get it, you are an elite and can afford this lifestyle (on sale!).

-Be jealous and envious, even from your close “friends” (yeah in the end you are a human being and those feelings are hard to restrain) noting that most of them are ten years younger.

-Hyperventilation is the only sport you can afford and excel in any time of the day.

-Play Goliath when facing the many Davids thrown your way (who did win in the end?)

-“Par toutatis le ciel va nous tomber sur la tete!” is your motto in any situation that requires a rush of panic and the attention of your minions, who set the example of those who made it in the “insiders” clan and succeeded where many of us failed (gladly). Just would someone remind me who said that sentence; Asterix or Obelix? (no seriously guys I forgot!).

 

In the end, I want to say that I am a person who is blessed with friends who love me genuinely and that I can rely on in any situation I am facing. I learnt a lot from my working experiences and I say it again, it set me to become the person that I am today. I am grateful for my father who stood by my side and encouraged me in pursuing my dreams. My life experiences and travels taught me that people of your caliber are, thankfully, rare species and on way of extinction. They say Karma is a bitch, although right, it should be added that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt people, will end up alone and broke.

 

Ciao Biatch…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author: Patyl-Astrid

"Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the common place, the slaves of the ordinary." Cecile Beaton

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