Disclaimer: The following is not for the light hearted nor those who live in their fantasy world. The following is not for the hypocrite nor the shallow submissive. The following is to all those who are aware of the stereotypical lebanese men out there, those who have been in a similar situation/ relationship. Most importantly, the following is to spread awareness and open the eye of women out there looking desperately for a relationship. The following is the No-No of all union. (Part One)
We, as women, tend to go through many and different relationships before settling with the right man. Each relationship is different from the other, for the simple fact that we are interacting with a different man, a different mentality and most importantly, a different personality and way of thinking. Each one of these differences will create a new experience for us and will eventually lead us settling for good or not with the other person. However, in this post i will enumerate to you the different types of men, one, as a clever and independent woman should avoid to mingle with. Each case comes from real experiences, therefore, genuine and true till the end.
1- JR ; The Political Wannabe .
Born and bred within a political family, you can imagine what is JR’s ambition in life. Given Lebanon’s political history and actual turn of events, you can visualize JR’s excitement at each gathering among friends and family. Not only is JR’s father one of the many inactive politicians in our beloved democratic country, but he is well known and liked, in his own village, who in turn vote for him blindly as he is part of one of the leader’s list during election. Yes my beloved readers, in Lebanon people vote blindly for their leaders and whomever their leaders dictate them to vote. Sheep..uhum no sorry lebanese people have been casting their votes throughout the years hence regenerating the same faces in parliament, and if not their offspring (who in turn carry the same torch for the years to come). JR is ambitious in his own eccentric way; he believes that he is a leader and can make change. He believes that he is entitled to a seat in politics in some distant future of some sort (lets hope that it is indeed a distant one). He rebels, gets in fist-mode and tantrums and everlasting debates on the future of the country. However what JR lacks is diplomacy and experience. His sole attribute is watching his father pursue politics (NB: Sheep, i mean lebanese voting system). Politics is a social science that is taught at university. However not anyone can master it in real life. Although after spending 4 years studying this social science and being part of junior, and then senior, political groups, JR think he is the next prominent leader of the Cedars. Why do you want to be with a man who will carry mountains ineffectively and be the ridicule of his surrounding?
2-Ali : The Typical Arab Macho.
Hahaha, i imagine you already know the description of my next man. Well yes, you are right, Ali is the typical lebanese playboy who is out and about in the city. His weekends are packed with social gatherings and events. Ali is handsome, popular and every girl’s dream of perfect man. However ladies do not be fooled by appearances. Ali is your typical arab man. He will sweep you off your feet and after an intense courtship he will establish himself as your boyfriend. Well wasn’t that your goal? Do not get me wrong, Ali is looking for a serious relationship. However once he is your man, Ali’s behavior shifts 180 degrees in the wrong direction. All of a sudden, Ali does not tolerate his woman (yes i use the term woman and not girlfriend because in my society typical lebanese men use this word in its arabic lingo to attribute the female sexe as an object in their possession) to wear eccentric and flesh revealing cloths, although that was what attracted him in the first place. Hypocrite? Tell me about it… He becomes possessive; wanting to know his woman’s timetable and whereabouts and crowd. He would invite himself impromptu to the point of annoying his woman’s girl friends. The concept of a girls night out is non existent in his vocabulary and planning a trip abroad …well let’s say you can only dream about it or live off your friends escapade stories. Jealousy is a disease that can only be found in people with a very low self-esteem personality. Acting all macho and referring yourself as one because of your middle eastern origins is the lamest excuse I have ever heard in my life. To all the ladies who want to walk sheepishly (ah yes again this term!) next to their men, well I am delighted to inform you that there are plenty of those specimen wandering around. But if you have a strong personality that can not be tamed on the long run than I suggest to you to ran away as fast as you can the opposite direction!
3- Ned : The Pothead
Ned is a phenomena. He is an ambitious person,works in his family business since graduation and lives technically with his parents (yes having a room and a bathroom within the parental premises does not account as living on your own!). Although in his mid- thirties, one has the impression that Ned is already a fifty year old with washed up dreams. He is loved and cared by all his friends (Bless them) but behind closed doors many verbal allegations are exchanged (of that I am sure). Ned carries the weight of the world on his two shoulders; he works 24/7 (even in his sleep, mind you!) and yet it seems that work is not flourishing. Yes people, the economical situation in Lebanon did not bless our bright entrepreneurs with promising futures and I do not blame the stress that many of you go through to keep up with the appearances. However, in this situation Ned was not blessed with organizational and communication skills. Let’s just say that Ned and Business do not conform in the same sentence (however,if one comes after the other in a sentence by any chance, they’d be considered as oxymorons). You see when a problem arises, instead of facing it like a true man, Ned hides and/or stops answering his phone. I do not know about you out there, but i was taught that facing your problems is a sign of responsibility and maturity. Furthermore, actions speak louder than words. Ned’s sole activity is smoking pot and nagging. Whereas one sets you in a relaxed mood, the other one stumbles you in a erratic locomotive journey (and imagine that scene repeated on a daily basis. Yes one would throw up!). I pity Ned because he is described by his friends and family as this gentle and misunderstood unlucky goofball , whereas in reality he is far from that. He was not blessed with a high IQ nor a set of examples to look up to. Moreover, smoking pot at an increasing rate everyday of the week will not help you increase your intellectual capacities nor succeed in business. Trust me it will only make you look like a fool to the walls that you constantly keep nagging to. To all the Neds out there, cheers and keep your head up high! ( yes i am playing with the words here you clever reader!!!) Do I even need to advise you why keeping away from such losers is a necessity?
The above mentioned men I just described to you unfortunately exist in many numbers. I am ascertain that we all witnessed these men, either from far or close at home. I personally did interact with a few of JR’s out there, watched ironically many Ali’s interactions with my surroundings up close and witnessed a Ned or two in their struggle with life. However, for a young and independent lebanese women in the turn of the 21st century, it is out of the question to mingle and even acknowledge a future with the traits described above. No woman in her right mind would want to tangle her intellect, freedom and acquired skills with these obsolete men. I have been blessed to have role models to look up to (and i admit many failed relationships) in my family and male best friends who guided me and shared their wisdom with me. My past relationships are not mistakes because they made me the person that I am today and I know what kind of a man I want to be with ever after.