Lately I have come to realize the increase in numbers of very independent minded women in their late 20s- early 30s. Don’t get me wrong, it is kind of an accomplishing feeling to have those 21st century women parading with their own businesses (even if it is the 100th fashion boutique set up in some posh neighborhood with abnormal price tags) and setting their ambitions as their first priority. It is a change from all those other women whose only purpose is to find the love of their life and marry off/ being a housewife. However the thing that appalls me most is the mentality of some of those women who take a stand against serious relationships and the whole concept of a man in one’s life for better and worse and for the rest of your life.
I mean seriously girls?
Usually, women who are successful professionally by having their own business come from well off families and tend to have been brought up in the best schools and universities of the city. Again how come with a rich background one develops such a narrow minded misconception of happiness and life/love? Worse of all they tend to give (bad/subjective) advice and shrug off any problems related to relationships with a “i told you so” look. I am sure that the main reasoning behind this attitude is the amount of deception one might have endured during his (short teenage) life and generalized the whole marriage concept as a failure due to that and focused on building his career. I am not saying thats wrong, on the contrary, it is amazing that you are successful in one aspect of your life, however the main fulfilling one is the one you are blocking away. I am not a love guru nor a counselor on relationship but i have had my fair share of disappointments when it came to love and yet i have not given up (even though the last one occurred a few weeks ago!).
I am sure you have not considered the following points before your firm stance against marriage;
do you want to end up alone at 65 enjoying only the company of your married friends and their children?
do you want to be called aunty instead of mommy your whole life?
who is going to take care of you when you have reached that age where you need another pair of hand to help you out at home?
There are many further points that i can enumerate yet am going to stop here.
I understand your frustration against men. These days they have been going through an ordeal establishing themselves in the work place, or building up their own businesses from scratch. I do understand that point though it is not an excuse to throw away a relationship (this point is going to have a post by itself soon).Furthermore, this is not a valid excuse for any of you to give up on being in a serious relationship. If one failed does not mean it is over.
I am a woman who has been through deception after deception and even shocking heartbreaks but that has not made me a young spinster and against marriage. On the contrary it has made me even stronger and more prepared to successfully embrace a serious relationship leading to marriage. Yes i believe in the institution of sacred union and i intend to implement that one part of my life still missing. To tell you the truth I am happy that my old relationships did not work out because it is right at this moment that I realized that i would not have been happy with any of them on the long run and would not have been willing to sacrifice my up-bringing and way of life to fit in theirs. Yes they say love is great, love is the best feeling ever, however love should not be blind! We must think with our brains before feeling with our heart because with time love fades away and what is left is concrete communication and blind trust in the other person we are sharing our life with. I know i could not have been happy with X and his late night joint rolling episodes nor with Y and his financial crisis and constant nagging nor with Z and his despair and depressive phases. Yes I loved each one of those, though i was blind with love towards each one of them at some point, it took me a few months to realize that i could have never ever spent the rest of my life with any of them. I am very blessed to have been brought up in a family by an amazing and caring father figure who never made us feel a lack in some sort, financially and emotionally. We should be looking those same traits and way of life when we want to embrace our future partner.
For all those women who are out there firmly standing against the concept of marriage, look back at that point in your past which made you change your mind and take this firm stand. It is not worth it! I know that deep inside you are craving the lack of love but time is a healer and with some optimism and genuinely one finds his soulmate!
ps: One last thing…..
Call me an optimist, call me whatever you like but i know that i believe in the institution of marriage and when that day comes i will know how to grasp it fully with arms wide open.